Outrageous and Outlandish!!!

2011-09-06T20:28:00.001+03:00

Whirl winds inside of me
Out of control, they blow
Gusts of demon wind; I emit
Rushing over your embers
Sparks fly where we lay
Flames that beseech the heavens
Hellish fire to exorcize my demons
A fierce heat, only the gods can extinguish
Instead, I pray they hand me the bellows
As I wish to be consumed by your fire
For at dawn I shall rise from its ashes

2011-09-06T20:26:00.001+03:00

Your eyes; those lovely eyes
Have cast a spell on me

Your smile; that magical smile
Melts the ice that covers my heart

Your voice; that tender voice
So melodiously bewitching

Your lips; those sweet lips
Electrify my body and soul

Your arms; those strong arms
I should lay in them forever

Your heart; its rhythmic beats
Infects me with sweetness

Your-self; enchanter of my soul
You make my toes curl in ecstasy

2011-09-06T20:22:00.001+03:00

Just one of those days
When fate comes knocking
You drop everything and
Follow her into wonderland
In the dead of night

A trail of cloths
Sounds of sweet love
Seep through the walls
Keep the neighbours awake
In the dead of night

Lost inside of you
Don’t want to be found
Chase away my emptiness
And shed my sorrows
In the dead of night

2011-09-06T20:21:00.003+03:00

Superficiality
This weakness of mine
To see what I choose to see
To hear what I choose to hear
To judge you by how you treat me
No wonder I make such fatal errors
Maybe I should snap back to reality
Look at the real picture
See you as you are
Ignore my imagination
Though I fear such a move
May dull the life we know

of women and shoes

2011-02-26T11:21:00.004+03:00

A great pair of shoes;
turns a woman into godess.
A great pair of shoes;
makes you glide while others walk.
A great pair of shoes;
has you levitating while other are grounded.
A great pair of shoes;
bears a sway that most men cannot fathom.
Oh! A great pair of shoes;
makes me glow like the fool moon at midnight!

The Memoirs of Kristie Annah (under construction)

2011-01-18T19:13:00.001+03:00

Chapter one: Unknown to most

Christine Wambui Nderitu a.k.a Kristie Annah (born; Christine Ann Wambui Mwariri) 24years, was born in Consolata hospital, Nyeri at 7.30am on the bright Wednesday morning of 1st June, 1986. A very healthy bouncing baby girl! Raised by a brilliant single mother due to a short lived marriage to Rowland Mwariri (R.I.P); my awesome mom, Margaret Wanjira Nderitu, Bed. (Hons) Special Education and Music. She has only one known sibling, a younger sister named Catherine Muthoni Nderitu who is 14 years old. She also has a pet cactus adopted from hells gates.

Christine started her education at Muga kindergarten; shortly after, she was moved to Central Nursery for convenience. She later joined Moi Nyeri Complex primary school, after which she joined Chinga Girls’ High School then finished her secondary education at Mahiga Girls’ Secondary School. She also studied at Emmanex Computer & Accountancy College, Timeless Beauty Training Centre and Alliance Française. She recently graduated from Kenyatta University with Bsc. (Hons) Sports Science, December 2010.

At the age of 15years, she was awarded 4th position in a nationwide environmental essay competition consequently; at 16years, representing Kenya at the World Youth Parliament for Water in Quebec, Canada. At 17years, she represented Kenya at the Children’s World Water Forum in Kyoto and Shiga prefectures, Japan. In 2004 she was awarded 1st prize in another nationwide environmental essay competition. She’s worked with various organizations like UNICEF (2002-2003), CiDRi (2005-2006), Pink Horizon (2006), NEO Marketing (2009/2010), Sports Stadia Management Board (2009), and Ministry of Sports & Youth Affairs (2008). She currently works at Savage Wilderness Safaris (since May 2010).

She has done a bit of everything, for example; office management and front desk for almost a year, team building facilitation for a few years now, helped plan and officiate the December 2008 Nyeri half marathon, helped in planning the Kenya vs. Tunisia football match of 2009, done some telemarketing, data management and field research for various companies, some small scale farming, selling ladies accessories. She is currently an adventure tourism expert and outdoors instructor majoring in rock climbing, mountaineering and water sports. She regularly contributes to Bingwa children’s magazine as a fiction writer and she is the opening scene of the ‘Niko Na Safaricom’ advert atop Mt. Kenya.

Her oldest memory is from when she was 2years old (mother can testify to this); in it are her mother, her aunt (Rose), house help, neighbours, some friends and herself just chilling at her then childhood home and many more memories from the same age.

Best childhood memories: “locking mom inside the house after she accidentally fell asleep while trying to lull me to take an afternoon nap and then running off to play; all those that contain my mom, grandmother and the extended family (especially my mom trying to feed me coz I was a poor feeder), the merry go round at the show ground, the 1st time I put on a swim suit at 6yrs and the birth of my sister.”

Earliest remembered dream: “the village of the pencil-drawn-stick-people that lived in a corner above my bed that led me to my 1st and only sleep walking experience. And the toilet/ peeing dream that makes you almost wet or actually wet the bed- I hate it!”

She enjoys: reading and writing fiction and fact in prose or poetry; dancing to most music especially ‘the spirits of nature’ and house music; adventure/extreme sports and tourism; camping, parties; events or just chilling at home or some lovely place with family and friends. Love is her religion.

Naked

2010-12-25T23:32:00.002+03:00

This must be the bravest thing
For a (wo)man to strip off all layers
And just stare hard at what you see
Come face to face with your fears
Reach out to your irrational self
Uncover all your secrets hidden deep
Just you and your imperfections
I really haven't known such courage
As to look at all your short comings
And say "yes,this is part of me"
This is what builds me up or tears me down
Do not repress the beast within
Let run with the wind; wild and free
Be true to your nature without a fear
Be yourself... The rest can go hang

Know thy enemy

2010-12-24T05:46:00.003+03:00

Greed,
Sloth,
Slander,
Selfishness,
Silence...
In a dying world

Walls

2010-12-24T05:28:00.002+03:00

There is a room
In a tall building
In the big city
Where they turn
Your foolishness
Into immense regret
Rip your heart out
Leaving a gaping hole
Suck out your soul
Leaving you empty
Walls, walls, walls
What dark secrets
You hold...
If only you could talk
And set us all free

The Friday demons

2010-12-24T04:15:00.002+03:00

Thursday at the strike of midnight
They come rushing from the pits of hell
To prepare us for the festival ahead
Innocently we awake to toil
As soon as the clock strikes three
They mingle among us unseen but felt
Temperatures are rising
The patience slowly wears off
The sun departs, the moon lights our hearts
Looking delicious
Scents so delighting
A toast to celebrate
Endless gulps to forget
Either way we're getting wasted
A puff of this
A sniff of that
There's cash to burn
Lies to utter
People to impress
Assets to move around
Dance yourself into a trance
Innocent souls generously misled
The rest of us fuel the Friday flames
Bohemian we are
Drunks, Bruts, Lost and Confused, Fornicators, Adulterors...
Oh did I forget the Innocent
This is our paradise
A toast to betraying those we love the most!

Freedom

2010-12-24T03:22:00.002+03:00

Its well past midnight
The creaking door wakes me
Slow but sure steps
Move solidly towards me
Anticipation building up inside
Cold dry lips on my forehead
'This will be our little secret'
Soft feather filled linen caresses my face
To the point of no return
Its hard to go without a fight
Upon a weightless chariot
I rush into the great beyond
This feeling must be freedom
No more fear
No more masks
Just the great beyond

2010-12-24T01:01:00.001+03:00

The gates have flung open and out rushes Love, flowing in a manner so untamed. Step forth and immerse yourself in my Love.

who am I?

2010-11-27T02:27:00.001+03:00

Thanks Giving

2010-11-26T01:18:00.001+03:00

When you love life, it loves you right back 10fold. That is the greatest lesson I've learned this year.
The year 2010 has been by far the most magical year ever. Thank God for that. Its the year when I truely lost and found myself. Its the year that's given my life direction.
In the year 2010:
I learned that just taking the time to discover the beauty of the country you live in and its people will teach you more than any university in the world.
If you take just a few minute from your daily rush to nowhere,you tend to see things clearly and it gives you the answers you've been searching for all your life.
The right posture and a smile can greatly improve your day.
Its very possible to live your dream. I'm an outdoors and adventure tourism expert. I write for children and adults. I'm in adventure advertising- I'm the opening scene in the Safaricom advert, the greatest ad in Africa and probably the world. Adrian Moat is a genius and Kenya is the most beautiful country in the world. We must guard it fiercely,especially from our politicians and economic assassins.
God is just but a heart beat away. Just whisper his name and he shall rush to your rescue at the speed of light.
Love is indeed the greatest of them all.
Pain and pleasure are faces of the same coin just as joy and sorrow.
Loneliness is a great companion.
I am an angel just as much as I am a demon. Being bad comes so naturally,its so easy to just be naughty and destructive. I've made a conscious decision to be a good girl. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But with time and patience it grows on you.
Some times when the hole in my heart comes to the surface. I 've found that showing love to others,meditating and even tears work better than drowning in alcohol and debauchery.
I love my family and friends with my entire being,myself and my career. My mom is wonderwoman!
I love my God. He never sleeps. He is an amazing artist. A just judge. A genius with a great sense of humour. A friend in deed. Even when I abandon him, he is patient with me. I dont know much about religion, people think me a pagan for I honestly think that religion is the redtape that keeps us away from the awesomeness of God. He is in the wind,the water,the sun,the moon,the stars and all the creatures of the earth. He is not trapt in a building.
Life is what you make it.
Its my responsibility as much as it is yours to keep the environment clean. We must protect and love mother earth. You really do not want to be on her bad side. She can be very vindictive. She takes care of us, likewise must take care of her.
A relationship base on sex is as good as dead. Seduce my soul and I'm yours forever.
Listen to your elders for they are wise but more importantly listen to the youth and the children of the earth,for they remind us our dreams and true nature. Non of this crap we drag along pretending to be happy.
Try not to curse. You will be happier.
Indecisiveness is a curse. Get rid of it.
Meditation is very important.
Tame your fears before they destroy you.
You cannot please everyone. Its a waste of time and energy.
Adrenaline is the most amazing drug known to man. Heres to extreme sports and adventure!
As the nike slogan goes:Just do it!
As soon as you get your mind out of that little box they put you in, life becomes very colourful...like a trance music party!
Graduation has very little to do with you. Its the day you mother celebrates her investment and calls all her friends and distant relatives you didn't know existed to share in her joy and pride! I will tell you how this goes after 10th December 2010.
For the 1st time in my life. Newyears won't be about getting wasted or overeating or fire cracker and bright lights in the rave. This year,by the will of God, I'll be spending new years on mt.Kenya with the stars,the moon and all the creatures of the mountain. Indeed I will drown myself in the soul of the mountain,so beautiful you are. I will love you forever.
Life is an adventure,simply let it unfold at its own pace and participate actively.
Make a bucket list and follow it through. Or even just a 'to do list'.
Tame your demons!
May you swim daily in the soul of Love. May the magic of life be with you.

The Magic of Love

2010-11-15T13:23:00.000+03:00

Every second of my life
Has turned into magic
An eternal bliss that overfloweth

Every inch of my body
Has turned into magic
Radiating love and serenity like the sun at its peak

Every part of my soul
Has turned into magic
it glows with love like no other
Immense burst of energy released
to honour your awesomeness

Every memory and thought
Has turned into magic
Let them unite in a stream of consciousness
That illuminates the path of my destiny

Every breeze upon my skin
Has turned into magic
Transforms me with the bliss
From all corners of the universe
Like chariots it rushes to my aid

Every drop of water
Has turned into magic
Washes my sins away
Renews my energy

Every particle of earth
Has turned into magic
The clay of the earth unites
With the clay of the body

Every spark of fire
Has turned into magic
Let the flames glow brighter
Let the energy of the fire and that of our soul
Commune with the universe
Emerse me in your endless Love

The eyes of your soul
Have turned into magic
Through them I recognise myself
From them love will flow like a river

Everything around me
Has turned into magic
Our rhythm so synchronised
a sight so hypnotizing
a scent so beautiful
a rhythm so engaging
a taste so delicious
a feeling so mind blowing

Every beat of my heart
Has turned into magic
Pain and misery I burn
In order to fuel the fires
That open the gates
on the path of illumination

Every beat of my heart
breeds positivity never negativity

Every second of my life
Has turned into magic
Every moment is a celebration of life

no chaos
no fear
no pessimism
no disease
no negativity
no darkness

only filled with the magic of
endless Love
endless Serenity
endless Prosperity
endless Creativity
endless Positivity

My life has turned into the magic
that's governed by the power of Love

Finding my way back Home

2010-11-15T13:22:00.000+03:00

I had a dream last night,a very disturbing dream

In it there was a being dressed so immaculately; face,nails and hair all made up

Just swirling round and round without a care in the world

And there were thousands of footsteps all around that made the earth thunder

Closer and closer they came,faster and faster she swirled
When she stopped everything moved in slow motion,her eyes so peaceful ready to face her fate

As if possessed they lunged at her biting,smearing,gnawing,tearing,swearing,ripping,screaming... And there was so much blood
So horrific this orgy of savagery

What's disturbing is that even with her bloody face, her eyes looked so peaceful
She just stayed put,not fighting back!
And when they were gratified they just lay there as if in a trance staring at the bloody mess the had made

Slowly she swirled picking up speed with every revolution
Faster and faster she spun and when she stopped,she looked even more magnificent than before!

Slowly her angelic feet touched the ground, composed and in a voice so sweet and tender:
'cursed are they,who cannot control themselves',she said and vanished into the horizon...

I don't know why It decided to bring you or I here
Neither do I know When It shall come for us
I don't even know what or who It is
I'm still trying to figure my mission out

All I know,is this:
When I'm on the right path,
I glow from the good feeling within
When I stray from the path,
A part of me dies from the chaos that drowns my soul

Sometimes I'm too far gone
Lost and alone in the cold darkness
All because I was to paralyzed by fear
At the moment it mattered the most

Sometimes I'm a total Idiot
Rushing in where angels fear to tread
Hurting my cornerstone in a bid to impress a passing breeze
Burying my head in the sand hoping that the problem will go away
It never does, It just stays there getting bigger awaiting my response

I don't know much and God knows I ain't a star student
But what I do know is:
Love starts from the inside growing outwards

I'm responsible for my own happiness

Only I can fight for my dreams

I'm responsible for my personal growth

I'm responsible for my brothers and sisters

Pride and Fear only suffocate the soul

The road to hell is paved with good intentions

Misery and happiness are faces of the same coin,as are pain and pleasure

The higher you go,the cooler it becomes

Now more than ever we should Love each other and protect the earth as she has Loved and protected us...

The leap of faith

2010-11-15T13:21:00.000+03:00

Higher and higher
I go up the ladder
That leads to heaven
Each step I take
Leads me to ecstasy
Jitters in my arms
My knees are jelly
My head; so light
Passionately the wind whistles

Higher and higher
I go up the ladder
That leads to heaven
In that small cage
I jump in willingly
There's no turning back
Only full submission

Bind me as you wish
Lets observe the usual ritual
Above watches the heavens
Below lies beauty unmatched
Entranced by your wonders
I cannot fight it
Just give in to paradise

As the gate opens
My eyes are moist
No retreat
No surrender
Not even an ounce of excitement
Just the deafening silence
I can hear my heart beating
From a surround system
In the air around me!

It feels like slow motion
When I take the great leap
The leap of faith
wait!
I spoke too soon!
Faster and faster i drop
The seemingly endless free-fall
Has taken me hostage
A feeling so engaging
I forget to breath
Airborne freedom

The earth below keeps shifting
The universe so magnificent
I am but a dot in its awesomeness
There is freedom in realization
Oh dear!
Elasticity limit!
I seem to be rapidly
Escalating towards heaven!
And this mid air pause
(why do i do this to myself?)
Going down!
Rapidly, I should add!
The earth seems to be in a hurry to meet me!
This must be the definition of a tailspin
'Crush and burn' comes to mind

I can relate to a yo-yo
Aaaah,there's something about hanging upside down
In mid air that's so relaxing
Slowly I meet the earth
It always feels good to be grounded
Looking up,
I appreciate the moment
In all its glory
That even in insane moments
I can still appreciate
The beauty of the moment
All in a silent free-fall

Magic Moments

2010-11-15T13:19:00.000+03:00

This must be a little glimpse of heaven
To look back and appreciate your days work,the things you learned and mostly the people you met
To contemplate Love in all its awesome glories and even its little miseries
To realize how sweet life is because you have chosen to give whole heartedly;not just your wealth but even yourself!
Such beauty in our diversity. I should be so lucky to experience every heartbeat of such wonderous magic

Tell me what you like

2010-11-15T13:16:00.003+03:00

Tell me what you like
Coz I can't read your mind
I should tell you that I ain't too bothered to kiss ass
Coz that's how disaster strikes
If you decide to change the sweet things that i love about you I'm simply gonna pack my bags and find another path
coz that's not what i bargained for
I'm never gonna beg or fight for your love
coz in the beginning love was free...just like the air i breath
you should also know that intelligence is the greatest turn on
coz no one wants to be with a puppet
you should know by now that i like them wild and out of control
coz life is too short to play it safe

2010

2010-11-15T13:16:00.001+03:00

Its the year 2010
Quite the magical year
The world cup came to Africa
Adventure sports are the new designer drug
Plenty of progress noted in the technology industry
My fave radio station allows for cursing and silly talk
and my personal best; doctors all over the world are using marijuana for its various medical benefits...wow
I appreciate that athletes and artists are operating at a gifted level.
I love my family and friends;the get wiser,stronger and more attractive on the daily
I'm glad that I can now taste the end of 844
so many good things,so many amazing things happening...
I have to say I think its lame that we as a nation are still fussing over the gay community; they've been around even before the Old Testament was written! Just like kings, hookers, prophets, laws, mistresses... All these people keep the universe balanced... So stop hating and start living!
2010's been awesome. Lets continue spreading the love, communing with the universe and protecting our lovely planet...
So many good things happening everywhere,all around us...be part of the goodness

Woman

2010-11-15T13:14:00.000+03:00

Have you known a woman?
Not her lips so sweet
Not her eyes so shy
Not her tits so tender
Not her skin so soft
Not her twat so tight
Not her locks so long
Not her body so curvy
Not her bum so bouncy
Have you known a woman?
Her dreams so deep
Her mind so complex
Her insecurities masked
Her embrace so serene
Her emotions ever changing
Her talents so endless
Her voice so magical
Her presence so moving
Her insanity knows no end
Her passions wild as a bush fire
Her enduring nature
Her destructive power so unmatched
Her love so unlimited
Have you known a woman?
She could be your strength or your weakness
She could be your teacher or your student
She could be your blessing or your curse
She could be your angel or your demon
Either way,you know you want her and need her
Have you known a woman?

Heaven

2010-07-05T14:10:00.000+03:00

What's all this talk about heaven!
Some yelling that you can only reach heaven through a certain religion!
Others screaming that they have rituals that will take you to heaven!
The rest just trying to make you buy your way into heaven! Ha!
Don't be fooled my friend! Don't be fooled!
I'm not God, nor I'm I an angel or a saint... But I know heaven
Its the place where time stands still and the only thing that matters is the rhythm of the earth
Its the place where the waterfalls,the wind and the sun collide to paint the rainbow gate that I'll sail through
Its the crystal clear lake at the top of the mountain of God,with flora that previously existed only in my fantasy!
Its watching the sunrise while sitting on the peak of a snow capped mountain that lies on the equator!
Its watching the flow of untamed water as you ride upon its wild waves hoping they don't betray you!
Its watching the stars and the moon as the creatures of the night sing their songs of love
Heaven is the place where:
The rhythm of the Earth meets the rhythm of your heart;
The shine of the sun meets the shine of your soul;
The glow of the moon meets the glow of your eyes;
The whispers of the wind meets the whispers of your desires;
The twinkling of the stars meet the twinkling of your memories...
Heaven is when the awesome soul of the universe embraces your passionate soul
Embraces you so tightly that you simply burst and merge with the universe
Thus you cease to be a man or a woman
All you know is endurance like no other
The collision of pain and pleasure that takes you to Ecstasy
The communion of all our souls with love that makes us hum-moan-drum-chant-murmur-whisper-sing-dance-scream our selves into paradise...
Heaven is looking into your blazing eyes on a cold day in July,reaching my arms around you to taste your sugarush lips and lose myself in your being...
Heaven is losing yourself in a little paradise down here; Its melting in your gaze, losing my breath in your kiss, drowning in your love and resurrecting in your embrace...

Ritualistic Love

2010-07-05T14:08:00.000+03:00

There's a madness slowly creeping inside my being
Like a disease;this darkness has slowly eaten its way into my core
There no longer exists the line that divides reality and fantasy
Last night I had a dream; a sweet dream it seemed at first
With the sweet sound of your laughter and intoxicated blabber
Watching the heavens and wishing upon the shooting stars
Alas! The clouds parted and I beheld the beauty of the full moon
Trapt in a cosmic trance, where the voices in my head engage in cultic chant
Runaway my Love, Runaway! I'm no longer accountable for my actions
But your not the type,my little lion-heart princes! Your not the type who lets fear rule their destiny
So you stay put and try to tame the demons
The gods are silent;it seems we're frozen in time
I have this burning itch in my teeth that's driving me insane
And the scent of your skin; so sweet, so tender, so warm
Save yourself little princess,save yourself from me
I'm stained with darkness; filled with a dark lust to quench my thirst with your life
You can't tame this sort of wild desire;somethings are better left untamed
So stubborn are you my little brave heart;yet my feelings I can no longer control
The rhythm of your life pumping through your vessel is driving me mad
Listen...
A heartbeat so melodious; pulse so alive
You've aroused the beast inside;to the point of no return
Its the teeth to skin connection! I feel my hands crush your sweet soft neck...
Wake me up, Wake me up and save me from this lucid nightmare!
It seems I'm trapped in a sort of twilight zone
Its the break of dawn and I awake by your side
The sweet smell of your hair and the peace in your eyes
Relieved that it was just another bizarre dream I lay back smiling
"Do it again",she whispers.
"Do what again?", I asked.
"The ritual from last night!",she says
Then turns around to show me the marks on her back

Sweet Misery

2010-07-05T14:04:00.000+03:00

The cold darkness is upon me
So sleek and conniving is she
Creeping slowly yet skillfully into me
Hypnotize me with your gaze so magical
Let the madness swiftly sink in as I watch your hips sway black silk gown
Take my breath away when you lay your honey lips on to mine
Sugar coated death is what you deliver to me
There is nothing underneath your sweet tender tits;no heartbeat, no warmth
Just endless inches of cold-silent-smooth skin
I am lost and confused; how this creature from the land of the dead tastes so good and has a scent so sweet I can resist
You're no good for me; you feed on my blood and suck my soul dry
Yet I can't be without you- just like you cant be without me
So c'mon my faithful seducer
Drive me too insanity with your caress
Tighten you embrace so that I no longer feel a thing
Dig your claws in and fuel me with your pain and misery
You've grown into me;filled me with mist of the mind and frozen my heart in time
Now I too cease to be human; feelings and emotions are a thing of the past
Now we are one; for what is pain without pleasure
A misery so sweet, I can't be without it
Ever so close to me,my sweet misery
Come dance with me upon the silver moon
Lets ride upon the wind to wherever
Maybe take a dip in the middle of the sea and let its unforgiving waters wash away the blood stains from our bodies
Maybe I'll lay my once human lips upon yours and take you to paradise
Take my hand sweet misery;be my gateway to heaven
And lets see if the satisfaction doesn't draw a smile on your sweet venomous lips

Life is so beautiful

2010-06-05T13:27:00.003+03:00

It seems to me that life is only as awesome as you make it. Today would have been just another day of the year,but not when alive and set free from our daily toilings of life. I just cleaned up,had brunch and put on a tiny black t shirt with my old blue jeans and a pair of DC's with a pair of socks of course!
Over the bridge and into the dirt road i charged! A hill will be conquered today! Into the bushes i charged,all the while 'captain-shitbeard' one of our dogs has been following me. "Alright!", i said to him, "you can come along". We walked our way and tried shortcuts that only misled us! We lost ourselves in the woods a couple of times but we also found ourselves. All the while captain-shitbeard went marking the territory on the thickets above the white soil...desert climate this is! Which is ironical for there's a river not too far off...i guess its a semi arid place. All the same captain-shitbeard and i walked on till we got to the foot of the hill. By now shitbeard has his tongue hanging out and is panting for dear life. Poor dog must be experiencing a heat stroke hahaha,anyhow, he takes a dip in a tiny paddle of water caused by some random seasonal river,he must have felts so good,i thought to myself. Anyway, we walk on rather suspiciously smoothly to the top of the hill.
At the top, I beheld heaven. There was a waterfall not so far from the hill and its rhythm puts you in a marvelous trance.the sun by the way was at its peak slowly sliding down from whence it came.but as it slid it warmed the smooth rock that covers the top of the hill. Towards the north you taken in by the view of mount kenya and all around me there hills,ranges,valleys,forests,rivers,animals,wind and the orgasmic horizon...
In deed this must be heaven. I therefore sit on the warm rock to take my shoes off,i sit there gazing upon this paradise and commune with nature. I let myself go,let the spirit of the earth take me away,let my soul dance about a burning bush that does not consume... Life is so beautiful, i think to myself. And i just lay there on the heated rock and let it bake me senseless. There must be a natural mystic flowing through the wind for I'm on the Ecstasy Express courtesy of Mother Nature. I lay there drumming my feet and palms to the rhythm of the spirit of the earth and i let it take me to paradise on a magic rhythmic carpet... I must be levitating because i feel out of this world! A feeling so beautiful only a magic brush would paint it...dang! I think i stayed in the oven a tad bit too long because I'm feeling lofty...hahaha
the sun's bidding farewell so i better be on my way. By the way,chasing anything that moved was all shitbeard did... So i get up and start walking back and the first few steps were alright till i stumbled into a mad thicket and realized that we were lost! Captain shitbeard looks panicked,i wonder why. Thought he'd marked his territory! Silly old dog,cant even find your way home! Anyhow,i get tired of walking in circles and decided to walk straight through the thicket down to the foot of the hill.whats surprising is that i walked on so much thicket yet didn't fall through lets hope i don't run into a gigantic snake because that won't be fun...upon the thicket we walked captain-shitbeard and i all the while i was paranoid that he'd get dehydrated,hungry and agitated by all this misery and decide to bite my bum seeing his behind me but he behaved. He's a good sport though he stinks of death.
After millions of little scratches thanks to the thicket we currently walk upon,we get to a clearing where a rather strange looking man holding a suspicious looking machete/panga was standing staring up at me in shock! I jump down from the thicket and so does shitbeard. We halla at the strange dude and quickly exit the scene glad to be grounded. By this time we're dehydrated as hell and cant help but speedily two-step or moonwalk back home from whence we came from all the while knowing that we've discovered a little paradise right hear on earth...
"Maybe i should buy the hill and start weaving my dreams on it...maybe turn it into a little stoners paradise where people gather to commune with nature and share their dreams and ideas of a better today... Maybe the hill will be a land mark or pit stop for wanderers from all walks of life. Maybe that's the step we need to take in convincing the rest of the world to go green... Maybe we should all take some time off to climb a hill or mountain to behold the heaven below in all its splendor... just chill and enjoy life because we must not let the agonies of life rule our lives... We must make a strategy then take the take the challenge head on,execute the plan of action...what don't kill you can only make you stronger", all these i thought as shitbeard and i two-stepped all the way back home ;)

Breaking free

2010-04-27T06:21:00.001+03:00

Step away from me.
Step away from me and let me be.
You have sucked up all my sunshine and left me dark and cold.
You have dug and dug into me with demon nails&teeth and stumbled upon the secret of my vulnerability.
Do you like what you see?
Does the depth of my fears give you a serious case of vertigo?
Does the grotesque nature of my huge scars scare you?
Does it come as a shock to you that I'm simply hanging on by a thread?
That I dont bother to plan deep into the future for fear of distablizing my perfect equilibrium of fear and hope?
That I'm forced to grope around in pitch darkness to find my way forward!
Does what you see revolt you?
Well, I hope it does!
I sure hope it does, because I'm sick and tired of your manipulation!
I'm sick and tired of giving sunshine and getting blizzards in return!
I am not your slave.
Did you honestly think that mother nature in all her glory delivered me in to your arms that you may suck the life out of me?
Be gone from me!
I cast you out of the realm of my heart!
I've washed off the stains of your memories with industrial strength bleach
From today henceforth
You are dead to me;you cease to exist in my past,my present and even my future
Turn around and walk away from me.
Walk away and don't bother looking back
Take with you, your gallons of supreme evil,your tonnes of grey clouds,your kilos of undecisiveness and you never ending supply of negative energy.
Don't get me wrong:
I don't hate or resent you.
I'm just indifferent about you!
Your existance in this life or the next, is of no consequence to me!
So step away and let me move on with my life.
Let me soak up the sunshine and let it replenish me.
Let me remember how it feels to Love and be Loved.
Let me remember how the the sound of my joyous laughter echoes to space and back.
So pack your sh*t and go far away from me!
You are banished from this land, sent to exile to a place far far away.
So go away and never come back!
This is me breaking free from your yoke of bondage.

Got a minute?

2010-04-22T18:05:00.000+03:00

Are you just too darn busy to simply take a minute off
your apparently tight schedule to bathe in the suns golden rays?
Too busy to take in a deep breath of fresh air and
Feel your heart-beat power up out of the shear excitement of being alive!

In my neck of the woods, we're never too busy
To lift our heads up and say “what’s up” to our neighbors
We're never too busy to take a minute out of the daily 24 to just to light up and chill
Won't you come to my neck of the woods;
'Go green' and experience the magic of being alive?
I'll take you to the park where we can sit and
Watch the sunset in glorious Technicolor
You can tell me about your day, your dreams, your troubles...
We can talk about anything and everything!

Soon the silver moon will smile upon us and the stars will wink at us,
As our souls dance to the music of the crickets,
The frogs, the toads and the other night creatures
Our friends will come to join us and
We shall lie supine on the earth staring at the heavens
We shall commune with nature as
We multiply the joy and divide the troubles...

In my neck of the woods, we always have a minute
To step out of our comfort zone and into a world unknown:
We like to use all senses; both common & uncommon
In this path of discovery, we discover talent,
Love, genius, life and so much more

In my neck of the woods, we always have a minute:
To render the common charities of life to anybody and everybody.
We like to sit in a circle and appreciate the different faces.
In a circle we puff and pass; in that circle we are one
- no color, no gender, no religion, no barriers, no limits-
Just unity in our steadily growing community
A community where our brothers and sisters recognize each other
Amidst a crowd because our faces glow like the sun's rays.

And we have that familiar smile, the kind that says
I embrace the present;
Respect the past enough to let it go and
Look forward to future
The kind of smile that says:
I have a minute…
A Marijuana minute

Prisoner of Freedom

2010-04-20T18:54:00.000+03:00

They have come and brainwashed the masses with the love of power and money, lies of limited resources, sexual freedom and all the other sweet lies that they feed to us through the tube and even in black&white
should you remember your childhood dreams and de-educate yourself from the illusion of freedom offered by man and the limitless lies they've pumped us with
Then you will find that you too have been imprisoned in a little glass cage that resembles an aquarium-for they put you in there with lies of equality and freedom while the whole time they've been watching us from the outside mocking our short memory spun and how gullible we are
The time is nigh when everything will be reduced to nothingness: Then, only the spirit will count
For this reason I've endlessly sought after your face
Flipped through many religous books
Visited many religious grounds
Associated with many religious leaders
Yet
I have not found your face
Turning back I realize the cycles of the life i have lived
All the while I searched for your face while its your presence I should have been feeling
Its so ironical that its through the events and activities thought unorthodox by men
And its through your angels thought of as lost souls by the same men
That i have found the courage to find my path in the darkness that had entrapt my soul (for its written that; only the courage in the path,makes the path appear)
That i have discovered bits & pieces of the truth that is so well hidden in the lies that have become part of us
The simple truth is that:

God is Love

And only in the stillness of your heart can you feel his presence:
Now that you are everywhere and here at the same time
I've come to revere your wisdom and mystics
That in my total self-destruction,i have become whole and learned to appreciate the simplest things in the universe that make your presence felt:
The wind that caresses my face as it rushes in to resuscitate me
The water that renews my energy
The fire of the sun lighting my path and feeding me through the days
The earth that is part of me as I am part of it in this show of mutual symbiosis
These are the simple things that remind me that we are part of you as you are part of us
I am reminded of your love when I look into the eyes of the faces that surround me
I respect your great mystics when you lay upon us the disasters that we cannot fathom
I am reminded of your meekness when i gaze deep into an infants eyes knowing fully well that they are indeed perfectly innocent
Though I have been a perpetrator of the seven deadly sins in one time or other.
And that i feel at home knowing the eternal torments that await me; probably because i have come to admit and own my imperfections which i slowly try to perfect
I pray that you spin the threads of fate in my favour (like you have done since the begining) that i may finally find the truth that I have relentlessly sought after my whole life
That I may swiftly understand the truth in the square of the physical world,
Appreciate the knowledge found in the circle of the spiritual world
and
Embrace the secrets of the spiraling dimensions
That I have taken a nose dive into the rabbit hole where more is gained from stillness of heart
I only ask that you open the eyes to my soul and give me the courage to face whatever jumps out of the hat
meanwhile
Everyday shall be lived fully by embracing the gift of our precious Earth and letting the spring of Love flow freely through me
For when the yarn of fate runs out and the spinning ceases
I shall look back knowing fully that i thoroughly enjoyed my time here and I tried to leave it better than i found it
Gracefully, i shall move on to the next life with nothing; just as i came into this one with nothing

The truth about life

2010-02-23T17:46:00.000+03:00

The truth: the ugly and disillusioning feeling that takes your body hostage when you realize that everything that kept you morally upright and strong (though by guilt trips) is a lie and possibly the worst demon yet.

Numbness: the feeling that caresses your already crushed heart every time somebody smashes the already broken pieces.it keeps you strong to know that the pain just lasts a while...then the numbness sets in and brings you back to life.

True love:the reason why you are alive.the thing that keeps you gorgeous,vibrant,young and successful after the trauma of a great loss;the thing that mends your heart and heals the numbness...no vengeance,no regrets,no showboating.just love in everything that you do.let love define you and everything shall fall into place. A feeling that comes from within and spreads without discrimination.

Living:letting your life to be guided by love.giving thanks for every little thing.realizing that poking your nose in peoples lives leads to your downfall.holding on to the past will destroy you:the time is now,the place is here...

Proud to be Kenyan

2010-02-04T15:39:00.000+03:00

Kenya is the world's forty-seventh largest country. Situated in East Africa; she lies along the Indian Ocean, at the equator, and is bordered by Ethiopia to the north, Somalia to the northeast, Tanzania to the south, Uganda with whom she shares Lake Victoria with to the west, and Sudan to the northwest. Her capital city is Nairobi; the name comes from the Maasai phrase Enkare Nyirobi, which translates to "the place of cool waters". However, it is popularly known as the "Green City in the Sun" and is surrounded by several expanding villa suburbs. Kenya is named after Mount Kenya, a significant landmark; which serves as the highest point in the country standing at 5,199meters.it was first climbed in 1899 by English geographer, Sir Halford Mackinder, but has since then hosted many adventurous souls. It also happens to be the second highest mountain peak in Africa. She has considerable land area of wildlife habitat, including the Masai Mara, where Blue Wildebeest and other bovids participate in a large scale annual migration. She is also home to the "Big Five" (the lion, leopard, buffalo, rhinoceros and elephant). A significant population of other wild animals, reptiles and birds can be found in the national parks and game reserves in the country.
Kenya is quite the cosmopolitan state; home to 43 ethnic groups and immigrants from all over the world, each group of people has its own language, traditions, food, music, recreational activities and religion. However English and Swahili are the two national languages allowing us to communicate effectively. The entertainment scene is also rapidly growing; with Kenyan artists winning awards and performing at international levels. Similarly, we have more foreign artists performing locally like; the late Bob Marley, Shaggy, Sean Paul, Ja Rule, Morgan Heritage and Mr. Vegas. The Nairobi Music Society in conjunction with the Nairobi Orchestra give at least three classical music concerts every year and arrange a variety of recitals and other musical events. And cultural activities like the annual bull fight.
Kenya is active in several sports, among them cricket, rallying, football (soccer), rugby union and boxing. But we are known chiefly for our dominance in Middle-distance and long-distance athletics. Kenya has consistently produced Olympic and Commonwealth Games champions in various distance events. Nairobi, East Africa's sporting centre, is home to various sports facilities like; the Moi International Sports Centre, Nyayo National Stadium, RFUEA grounds, Nairobi Gymkhana, golf courses and sports clubs. Notable annual events staged in Nairobi include Safari Rally, Safari Sevens rugby union tournament, Nairobi Marathon and horse racing at the Ngong Racecourse.
Kenya’s economy greatly depends on agriculture, tourism, minerals, industry, manufacturing, labour and energy.
A Kenyan therefore, is a person who comes from or lives in Kenya. One can be Kenyan by virtue of marriage, registration or by birth; much like me! I was born in the central part of Kenya at least two decades ago. One of the reasons why I love being Kenyan is the way our beloved country is shaped; unlike other countries, Kenya’s boarder lines are so neatly cut making pleasing to look at. In fact, every time I spot my country on the world map, I get a warm fuzzy feeling a lot like gazing at a masterpiece by Leonardo DaVinci. I honestly think it would have been tragic had Uganda succeeded in annexing apart of our lovely country.
Currently, Kenya is a Semi-presidential Republic headed by a grand coalition government consisting of; The president, the vice president, 41 Ministers-including the prime minister and his two deputies, the cabinet (which included 50 Assistant Ministers, also named by the president on April 13, 2008). I still think that there plenty of reasonable ways to sort out the post election crisis, rather than expand the government especially during the recession, putting in mind that we are a developing country. But I suppose for a politician to commit the selfless act of possibly taking one for the team (the team here being the gullible citizens who voted them into parliament!) is out of the question and definitely not up for discussion. Reminds me of a phrase* I read in Chinua Achebe’s book “a man of the people”; a man who finds a comfortable warm place after having came from the rain where he was drenched, finds it very hard to go back outside .this applies to Kenya and many other African nations where politicians tend to be averagely educated hence view parliament as a lifelong career that doubles as a cash cow, hence instead of representing your people and building the nation, they go into parliament looking to build themselves! It is not uncommon for Kenyan politicians to go into parliament with a seemingly insatiable thirst to serve their peers who like them are suffering from a poor-man’s disease such as malnourishment, but as soon as they get into “that house”; something changes them (as if by magic) and before they know it, they will be making a grand exit from “the house” a few years later having acquired a rich-man’s disease usually characterized by a distended tummy such as obesity or self imposed systemic failure due to fat clogging up their vessels- what with the improved diet and luxury vehicles, which by the way are fueled by our taxes!
Fortunately, we live in a democratic country which has managed to preserve its citizen’s rights and freedoms to a certain degree, among them being the freedom to express our views which are mostly comprised of endless chains of grievances. Looking on the bright side; the grand coalition did save our lovely country from a number of nasty situations such as genocide, civil war, collapse of the economy among others. These however does not mean that we should turn a blind eye to the problems we are currently facing thanks to the post election crisis, such as: the IDP situation, the dent in our economy, our punctured image which in turn affected our tourism sector, the major relapse in our ethnic evolution, and my personal favourite- the broken window syndrome; where our very law enforcers are neck deep in “mud”! The good old days where the worst that could happen was to “get your hands soiled” by dirty politics are dead and gone. Today we have a new and improved strain of leaders who dive head first into a pool of countless crimes committed against humanity and cover them up with well timed scandals, which distract us for a while then when we snapback to reality they have already come up with new lies to skillfully cover up everything! It’s like they stay up all night conjuring up new illusions to hypnotize us with!
Take for example the current erratic weather conditions primly blamed on deforestation; the politicians have managed to blow it out of proportion with the whole Mau forest situation causing a delay in environmental justice yet hundreds of Kenyans are dying in drought related circumstances! It’s no surprise that the same characters are related to the illegal exporting of food meant for aid.
Another good example is the issue of police brutality and insecurity (especially now that criminals are getting more intelligent and manipulative); when those responsible for security are questioned, they immediately turn to the blame game- pointing fingers at each other as if they have been programmed to quickly pass around this hot potato called “taking responsibility” once eye brows are raised.
Another personal favourite is the undying monster called corruption. Everybody hates it yet most of us do a great job at fueling its furious flames! I have to say that Kenyans are by far the most ambitious people in the planet. Both home and away, a Kenyans’ mind is trained to work day and night; it’s no wonder Nairobi never sleeps. We could probably blame the unidirectional 8-4-4 education system that fails to integrate in born talents with academic prowess; you see, as soon as you get into the system at the tender age of three years, the struggle begins; more so in our “paper” oriented nation. Simply put; without the papers, you and your talent may as well perish! From the word go, you know that its survival for the fittest-who can get the top grades to get to the best school that is apparently supposed to prepare you for a better life? Who can push hard enough to get into the bus on a Rainey day so that you don’t get caught up in an endless traffic jam and unceremoniously hiked fares? Who can get that top job that pays obscenely more for almost no work done? We are living in a capitalist nation and people will do anything to get a head! We have found loop holes in the system that we can use to get around it. Why spend a night in jail when you can bribe the poor policeman? Why should a parent be subjected to watching their child languish in poverty when they could buy them fake result slips? So many genuine questions and only one answer: money!
I whole heartedly agree that we as Kenyans have quite a number of short comings and have a long way to go if we really do want to make our country a better place to live in. it means a complete overhaul in our system; the way we think and behave. Vision 2030 is a step in the right direction but we have to keep in mind that actions speak louder than words. When it all comes down to it, I come from a country that produces world class leaders and athletes, a country that throws multi-cultural parties with an assortment of local music and finger liking dishes just to appreciate it people, a country where a sense of humor, dancing and ambition are in born traits. I couldn’t be more proud to be Kenyan.

closet freaks...

2010-01-07T14:36:00.003+03:00

freaks...
that's what we are
we are twisted in nature
but try to hide it
to save you the agony
of having to judge us
over and over again...
the truth is
just as you have perfected
the art of judging us
we to have perfected the freak art
we don't care much
for your judgment
we no longer hide it
and it looks as if
your giving in...

We like to bite
we love pain
we like to spy on you
while jerking off
we like to switch off the lights
and just lie there
we like to get high and
see the world in Technicolor
we like to break the rules
we live to break the rules
we like to get derailed
its the most fun way
to learn new things
meet new freaks
we like to just chill out
get stoned
have moments of total insanity

we like to derail you
we like it when you give in
we know you want to give in
because its human nature
we seduce your soul
and slowly you give in
because its in your system
to be wild and free
you're just afraid
of getting judged

well,
no worry honey
i will not judge you
just come in to my arms
and imagine how good
it will be
when all the fear
that holds you back
is vanquished...
I'll take care of you
you and me
we'll break all the rules
travel at the speed of light
do the things
you've been afraid to do
I'll be with you
every step of the way
and help you get out
of your closet freak ways

we can:
bite
spank
burn
bleed
scream
jump over
crawl under
dig through
run away
at the speed of light
you can tell me
your wildest fantasy
craziest dreams...
and I'll be your diary
i shan't tell a soul
so just
tell me what you want

the other day
a stranger said
that he saw
a bit of the devil in me...
why don't you look
deep into my eyes
and tell me what you see

does it excite you?
it just might save you
it may also just kill you...

You and me...

2009-12-02T13:17:00.000+03:00

There is no "us" nor is there a "we"
there is just a "you and me";a crazy little world that we've created for ourselves...
In this,our crazy little world:
all our differences-worries-fears are vanquished upon entry leaving only love-passion-affection-laughter-intimacy and an endless fountain of joy...
In our insane tiny universe: your pheromone soaked skin gently slides against mine in sweet heavenly love;your heartbeat and my heartbeat connect in sweet symphony...
In our tiny world-we impress undressed...our souls have freely mingled yet our secrets are safe and hidden in our tiny insane world...
A little secret place that no one but us knows about;so top secret is it-that we're living double lives and stealing glances at each other hoping that nobody else notices...
A cocktail of love&hate; smothering&neglect which we have so cleverly brewed that it now sweetly torments us...so strong is this brew,that it has seduced my soul to the point of no return...
We get consumed by jealousy yet we have to handle it maturely;no tantrums-no drama... A delicious agony that we have learned to thrive on knowing that when we enter our secret world,everything will be alright...
You and me at your place tonight after dinner...
You and me at my place tomorrow at noon...
You and me:nobody has to know...

prisoner of lust...

2009-12-02T12:48:00.004+03:00

isn't it so twisted,
that we don't get to choose
the people we want to fall in love with!
so twisted that our hearts,
have the power to hold us hostage
with endless feelings of obsession...

whats most twisted
is that I'm in denial!
I'm trying to pretend
that I'm not in love with you
hoping that these feelings
will vanish into thin air.
yet when you are around...
I'm positively drunk from your love
you have intoxicated me
with your mysterious brew
in my high state-caused by your love
you have stealthily stolen my heart...

when i look into your eyes,
i get trapped in a trance
that i can't seem to snap out of
you have put me under your spell;
locked me in so tight
then thrown away the key...

planted on my heart,
is a white flag
that mark the end of the wars
that i have been waging
against these feelings so profound...
i have surrendered the fight
for it seems that the more i resist,
the deeper i fall...

it looks like i'm paying
for all the sins that i committed
back in my "cold hearted bitch" days
for i am now a prisoner of your love
doomed to bask in your magnificent glow...

every day,
i live in fear of the hang over i will get
when i snap out of this trance,
i think about just how tormented
i will be...
if you take your magic away from me
imagining you with somebody else
causes my world to secretly fall apart

the sad part is;
you will never know this things
because when we're together
i put on this "amazon woman" mask-
a show of freakish strength,resilience&hardiness
all in a bid to hide
my fears and vulnerability from you
because if you knew
just how much power you have over me...
i would be ruined!

every day,
is just another round
of a very addictive cocktail
of intimacy mixed with misery
that you expertly feed to me;
the chief reason,
that gets me out of bed
every morning...

bohemians among us...

2009-11-13T12:53:00.003+03:00

Disclaimer: the following content may take away your innocence please handle with care...

now that it very clear that i don't play by the rules made by others...hell i even break my own rules sometimes...its called "the down for whatever syndrome" and it feels so great but you got to be careful not to get hurt or caught or caught up...i almost got caught up in the shenanigans once...but i got away unscathed-you got to be careful and smart...if you get caught up or scared you can only hope that you have a soft spot to lean on...something or some one to sooth you back to the land of the living...some one who's always got your back. whatever happens its good to know that:

1. your not the first person in that situation.someone else including yourself can help you get out of it.so try not to panic!

2. bad thing are only as bad as you make them seem. chill out-give it time;you will figure some thing out...even better; it(the situation) will figure its self out.

3. always keep your head above water and gamble wisely (even love is a gamble)

i feel its necessary to make it known that i spent the better part of my evening engaging in some candle light sqanqing (we had a black out and everybody was bitching but i was one happy camper! the only thing that would have been better is some candle light sqanqing followed by some hot steamy bonking! hehehe-bonking...)...that was sooooo gooood-plus i watched the episodes of family guy where stewie beats the crap out of Brian over 50bucks! and the one where they kill bugs bunny(somebody had to do it-that goddamn rabbit is a psycho!) and i was so stoned- it was so hilarious...the last time i laughed so hard: i was on sheesha at this wild party! I'll do it over and over...
the better news is that i made it to my class, which by the way was a make up class-do i smell commitment to the course!!! anyhow I'm looking forward to later when me and my pals will be getting really fucked up on some happy drugs...hehehe...will tell you how that goes. better still cannot wait for the game tomorrow: Kenya vs Nigeria... (even though i will be hanged over as hell!)yap last and most amazing sports event this year...everybody is attending!!! do not miss out!!!

thought of the day-seeing that I'm becoming more of a pimp every day (I'm helping people hook up and i cant help myself-what the deuce!);

now more than ever, i strongly believe that we should not be afraid to fall in love because we will get hurt. be careful and guard yourself just don't leave in a shell of fear because you once got burned- it will make you miserable! never rush into a relationship and never rush anyone into a relationship: you will be miserable... try not to be a "sociopathic selfish son of a bitch" or a "crazy hormonal gold digging bitch" (ps;gold diggers are both male or female)because these things come back and bite you in the ass...hehehe...most of all if you are just trying to have some fun without committing, do not send mixed signals: no getting personal, no cuddling, bag your emotions. did i mention no cuddling ...that's why its called a "hit and run"... if you do any of the above and you've just messed up everything!!!
yes so its become clear that though I've been hurt on many counts, I'm not afraid to fall in love; I'm just not ready to play by the rules...and that could cause friction...i think i now see why some of you call me the devil!!

have an awesome weekend,live your life, give the gossips something to make their day(ie; give them a life) go crazy, try not to get scarred for life and be smart... love you loads.

PS: if you have hotter plot than mine halla at me...

xoxo

careless and free...

2009-11-09T10:36:00.002+03:00

i'm not the kind to believe that people change...mostly because no one around me ever changes; they try not to cheat on spouses-try to quit smoking-try not to abuse drugs-try to be in a relationship...but it never lasts for long...the good side is that they are not extremist hence they have survived this far while others have fallen into the glaring traps that the devil has so carefully laid for us...

now for a few months i was in a change program; i was clean(free from drugs-alcohol, joint-etc etc), i was doing things in a planned manner... i lasted for months till i started going clinically insane thus decided it way better to be a social misfit/outcast...the feeling so cold and stubby i wouldn't have it any other way...i suppose this is why i don't try to change people; unless you ask for my help of course, and i don't believe that people change.if he beats u-it never gonna change. if she cheats-its never gonna change, if he worships the ground his boys walk on-the boys will always come before you for life. take it or leave it... that's what i believe and the faster we come into terms with this the easier our lives will be and the happier we will be...
so speaking of people not changing: i went totally crazy this week...had a totally wild time; abused things at an insane rate...binged on vodka like the end of the world was here!! but today I'm sober but i cant remember the last time i felt this sober because it's so many days ago!!! but the high lights of the week were of course: hanging out with mr. supercock (his name is symbolic) hehehe, hanging out with the boyz and ms. lox made the evening all so heavenly too bad i couldn't go home with her coz i had prior commitment...super commitment i must add...
anyhow i'm still recovering from that week of debauchery.I'm glad to be back to the land of the living(came beck from the longest dry spell ever-it was so bad i had a pick up line that went a lot like the Robbie Williams lyrics: come and hold my hand i want to contact the living...ooohhhh i am back and no longer getting attracted to everyone and anyone just because I'm horny)

thank the lord that I'm feeling normal again... by normal i mean careless and free (i like to live like animals.... talk to you soon...I've got a load of assignment on the other tab...xoxo

it tingles

2009-10-30T16:41:00.002+03:00

god i hate the cold weather! i hate having to be in bed alone in the cold, i hate having to walk around in the cold...being single and picky sux...grrrr...on the bright side, i just came from the salon and i got to admit the lady who washed my lox had the touch of a goddess... i almost had a big "O" at sink... maybe its cause I'm in a dry spell but that woman has a magical pair of hand... in fact I'm still glowing...uhhhhhhh...and i still have that tingling feeling going on...
talking of tingling feeling, a certain somebody has been giving them to me... its so bad that every time i see them; the sky turns from gray to azure, i get rejuvenated and the tingles... hot damn...i think i may just erupt in public one of this fine days...uuuhhhh

i am not in love! i just haven't had some in like for ever and its driving me insane!!!

2009-10-26T14:03:00.000+03:00

is it me; or do the people you're not remotely interested in tend to be more ambitious than those you're just dying to notice you...uuuhhh (dejected sigh).i mean, realy!! all this people where do they come from-and they also tend to be the most annoying!!! they will not let you sleep or live in peace with their poking and proding...
all the while; the object of all your wild desire is acting all so un-interested in you. its like they don't even know that you exist...i don't know; i'm trying to act all so reserved and stable minded and to be honest i just don't know how long i can keep up the act...
seriously i fear that one of this find day the object of my desires will show up and i will just lose it and end up doing something ridiculous...
uuuhhhh...
i just don't know what to do....

MIDNIGHT CHARMER

2009-10-16T15:37:00.000+03:00

It’s getting old
The way you keep breaking into my place
Uninvited; I must add,
The way you sneak around my house
And fumble with my bed room door knob
After which you tip toe to my bed
And smoothly slide in…

It however, never gets old
The way you slide your arms around my belly
And kiss that place behind my ear with your sugar lips
The way your magic hand slide down to my thighs
And pull my lingerie up my curves
The way your hands seem to know their way around me
The way you rock at that magical pace
Not too fast, not too slow
The way you whisper into my ears exactly what you want
That excited look you get when I tell just what I want
That will never get old…
So I’m giving you a key to my place
So you don’t have to break in
But you can sneak around and tip toe
That excites me…

I want to wakeup where you are!

2009-10-16T15:36:00.000+03:00

To think that this day had started off so well; what with the train ride, successful day at work and topped off with my fave junk food- hot and spicy. It all looked so promising, till I spent the better part of my evening getting rained on and later got into a mat with an extortionist for a conductor! Then there’s the long walk to my place in high heels, bollocks! And what is this? Did someone drop an ecstasy bomb when I left this morning- all horny couples all over the place saying some nauseatingly sweet things just to get laid! WTF happened here!
As if that’s not bad enough already; I’m now at place with my aching legs perched up the top bank. All I can do is stare at them all the way down my thighs to the point where my black mini skirt begins… this fucking sucks is all I can think to myself; in bed alone on a Friday night listening to TLC’s red light special. So pathetic that I’m just getting horny for no good reason…a red light with no one to give the special to. And what’s this? The Goo Goo Dolls’ slide! Is this play list mocking me, and the song simply goes on! By this time I’m of course getting emotional about the part that goes something like “…I wanna wake up where you are…” what the hell! Does the universe nit understand that I’m alone tonight! And extremely tired I must add… arghhhh

MYSTERY KRISTY

2009-10-16T15:33:00.000+03:00

To be completely honest
I seldom understand myself
Why I do the things I do
Why I say the things I say
Why I am the way I am
In all fairness
I don’t expect you
Or any other person
To understand me at all
And it’s only rational
That I don’t pretend to understand you
Or why you do the things you do
Or even act the way you do
Because darling
You are who you are
And that’s who I fell in love with
I wouldn’t dare to change even an inch of you
I’d rather be just friend if I can’t keep up
Than to watch you live in misery
So, in that same spirit
I’ll kindly ask you
To, simply, let me be…

GRIM INFERNO

2009-10-16T15:31:00.001+03:00

She came to me last night
That seductive little devil
I could never say no to her
Why? I don’t quite know
She lit me up like a wild fire
A devilish fire that consumed me
Its flames fed on my soul
Till me conscience was no more
The next morning
I got up, put on my cloths
And as I walked home
Knowing only too well
That I’d betrayed your trust
And might stub you in the back
Again and again
For her flames are ablaze in me
But if it any consolation
I really do love you

Rhythm of my soul

2009-10-16T15:28:00.000+03:00

These are the beats that make up my soul
Beats that are repeated over and over
Beats that make me who I am

The beats of excitement
Made up of semiquavers of joy, laughter and bliss
They sound like raga, crunk and techno
The downbeats of depression
Made up of semi bereves of sadness, tears and pain
They sound like blues, jazz and classical

The climaxing beats of care freeness
Made up of quavers and crotchets’ of kisses, desire and orgasm
They sound like rock, soul and RnB

The sweet beats of my origin
Made up of minims of passion, strength and infinity
They sound like afro fusion, genge, neo-soul and bongo

WHAT REALLY GRIND MY GEARS?

2009-10-16T15:20:00.002+03:00

1.Ignorant people who pretend to know it all
2.Sanctimonious bastards who think they’re God’s gift to earth
3.Sexists, chauvinist pigs, gay bashers, racists, tribalists (we’re all guilty of this one, so let us unite and fight it)
4.People who blare ten thousand watts of crap when I’m trying to relax
5.People who still treat sex as a taboo subject! It 2009-wake up!
6.People who insist on shoving their opinions (which always boarder of ridiculous if not retarded) down my throat
7.Up tight people… get a sense of humor; it won’t kill you
8.Hippies turned religious fanatics…WTF; you had your moment-why you hating on me?
9.Dedicated rumor mongers
10.Our politicians…
11.Snitches
12.Stalkers and people who hustle you over not calling daily-we’re not even dating! What gives?
13.When the batteries die on me
14.Changing the channel/blackout at the climax of the show; like when the ball is about to be netted, someone is about to get offed, someone is about to get caught cheating!
15.The fact that my blog isn’t getting as many hits as I want! What I’m I missing???
16. people who are all up in my business un-invited... if i need your help i will kindly ask for your assistance-before that happens, stay the fuck away!this really grind my gears!

REHAB

2009-10-16T15:18:00.000+03:00

I simply can’t believe that I’m in the house on a Saturday night keeping up with my good girl routine; knitting and reading…WTF! I even switched off the telly and negotiated the corners in darkness just to slide into my cold lonely bed. What’s ironic is that I’m listening to Amy Winehouse’s rehab thinking of how sober I’ve been for months now.
Come to think of it, the past few months haven’t been in anyway life altering! I dare say that they were boring! Sometimes i even forget that I’m alive! Any way that was a bit much…but to be honest, all I’ve had is extra paranoia, more nerves and plenty of sleep…how did that help me? It didn’t!
So now I’m lying in bed at 2am nostalgic of the good old days; freshly uncorked wine, brand new bottle of vodka-oh vodka … the warm fuzzy feeling after a chivas shot. Oh lord I smell a major relapse! All these repressed memories are rushing back and all I can do is shut my eyes real tight trying to vanquish the demons I just unleashed…
Suddenly my whole body is shivering, my heart is racing and I’m thinking I need a fix!
I find myself in a race against time trying to make peace with this sadistic masochist who lives in my head before I fall off the edge into a pit of eternal misery. Meanwhile the voices that torment my very existence are seductively re-inviting me to the dark side; my natural habitat that I have until now managed to resist.
Slowly the numbness creeps in; a paralysis that only Morpheus can inflict…with mixed feelings, I give into an alternate universe that unfold in my head bringing forth horny monsters, indecently exposed presidents, masochist and freakish romances…

Train of thoughts

2009-10-16T15:17:00.000+03:00

Over and over
This train of thoughts
Keeps going through my head
The past, the present… even the future
These thought come in all
Shapes
Sizes
And colors
Some are good
Others bad
Most are ugly!
I want to halt
This horrid train
As it’s haunting me
Creating ghost trains all over my mind
Driving me crazy
Making me dizzy
I just want it to stop
That I may be serene
Just for a moment
Maybe even go numb
And fly away…

Shall we say curtains?

2009-10-16T15:16:00.000+03:00

I saw you again today
After my long sweet escape
We finally came face to face
You’d been drinking
But it doesn’t really matter
I drunk a little too
Then came the confessions …
I’ve never really been good at this
You know sitting and listening to people
Repent and make promises
That they probably don’t even intend to keep!
So I sat there; quiet, nodding my head as if I was listening
While the whole time I was just undressing you
And doing very naughty things to you in my head…
Hopefully, when you’re through yapping
You’ll let me have my way with you
Then maybe tomorrow as you do your walk of shame
My “good bye forever” won’t sting as much…

LIVING IN FEAR

2009-10-16T15:14:00.002+03:00

Are you afraid of these feelings inside of you?
So afraid that you pushed your own soul into suicide
Now all that remains is a cold empty shell of what could have been
You have succeeded in isolating yourself from every one
You smoothly evade their questions; never letting anyone in
They think that you’re a cold hearted son of a bitch
But the truth is that you are just afraid
Every time you feel something remotely human
Something that could grow into an everlasting commitment
You conveniently find fault and end up sabotaging it
You dig deep into the closet day and night
Till you find the skeleton that you have been looking for
You swiftly rub the skeletons on their faces
Telling them that it just can’t work out between the two of you
That it’s not me…it’s you and your skeletons
You have become a mechanical lover
Even the most genuine touch of affection
Has failed to bring you back to life
But don’t you worry; for I know the truth
You’re just afraid that there’s a chance that you night fall in love
Fall so deeply and get in way ahead of your self
Because you know your ice cold nature is the only thing that protects you
The only thing that shield you from the brutal heart ache you once experienced
It’s just a simple case of once beaten twice shy
You seem to have taken the lesson to heart
Why not?
Isn’t it true that every time you look into the mirror,
You’re reminded of the scars you carried for all this time
That even though people think you heartless
You’re just truly afraid of being rejected and neglected
That’s why you move on from one person
To the next in the blink of an eye
Creeping with anyone who dances to your tune
Just because you don’t want to get to know them well enough
For the great fear; you might actually like them
Isn’t it true that in the dead of night when you lying in bed cold and alone
Listening to that depressing music-that beckons suicide
You’re always thinking to yourself
Just how much it sucks to be alone….
Isn’t it true that you try so hard to commit
But you can’t seem to find that expected human touch
After all your heart is trapped in layers of ice and your soul is long gone
Isn’t it true that you live in fear?
Well there’s no need to be afraid
Because you see you’re not alone
I too, get terrified by these things
In fact, my soul hasn’t been doing so well either
It’s been losing its glow every passing day
The truth is, I got so afraid
That I locked my heart in box of steel
And tossed the key into the deep blue sea
All because I was afraid those feelings…

PUZZLER

2009-10-16T15:14:00.001+03:00

Help me understand this thing we’ve got going
That I’ve known you for the longest time
Yet these feelings remain untouched and unchanging
Because of you I’ve grown to be the person I am today
Though sometimes I hate your guts
It the rest of the times that counts:
The times when I love you;
Because you’re such a wonderful being
An angel among men
The times when I’m madly attracted to you;
When gazing into your strangely innocent eyes
Brushing against your soft sweet lips
Listening to your melodious voice
Holding your soft hands
Touching you soft skin
Inhaling your sweet scent…
The times when I really admire you;
Your strength and courage
Your vast knowledge in areas that matter the most
The times when I’m envious of you
The times when I screw up pretty badly;
Sometimes, even I am shocked by my elevated levels of “fucked up”
The times when I get a little jealous;
Just a little jealous that you’re with her or him
That you would never really commit to me
To be honest, it drove me a little crazy for a while
But I came to terms with reality…
Now I’ve come to accept it
The fact that you will never be mine for the keeping
You, my love, belong to the world
And I love you enough to let you go
It wasn’t easy
But I’m strangely comforted by the fact
That we will always be together in some strange twisted way
That I don’t have to drive myself insane if I walk in on you
That I can trust you with my most horrific secrets
And you can trust me with yours
Mostly I’m amazed by how we got to this point
A point of perfect balance between lovers and friends
I guess I just want you to know that I really do love you
That your friendship means the world to me
And I will always be here for you…

ANIMAL INSTINCTS

2009-10-16T15:10:00.000+03:00

We are born predators; built to hunt relentlessly
We prey on you night and day
We endure your endless rejection
Knowing that one day really soon
You will give into us
We invest heavily on pleasing and creating illusions
Buy you fancy expensive gifts
Tell you what you want to hear
Ensure you feel and look like the queen you truly are
To us,
It’s never a matter of yes or no
Rather it’s a matter of when and how
We have all the time and resources
We call you night and day
Telling you sweet little lies that you have longed to hear
When the right time comes; when you are most vulnerable
Even tired of fighting us…
We will be right here; waiting with arms wide open
We’ll hold you, caress you and shower you with a fountain of affection
And when tomorrow comes
You’ll be a washed up star who’s lost all its glitter
And before you know it…
You’ll have been replaced by another
Delicious looking unsuspecting victim
Soon enough you’ll realize
That our beds are a lot like Monday morning traffic,
You’ll feel sick to your stomach when you think of us
You’ll be filled with disgust and loathing when you think of us
Night and day you shall scheme up plots of vengeance
But soon enough you will realize just how futile it is
After all, you can’t beat the devil at his game!
Finally all you want is an explanation
A little fun is all it was lovey…
You and your kind shall judge us harshly
No matter
Countless traps shall still be laid down for you
Soon enough, the “judges” shall be weighed and measured
And will be found wanting
Because; you see
Falling into our traps tends to be a life altering experience
You should be so lucky not to turn into a blood sucker…

Open season

2009-10-12T13:37:00.000+03:00

The season is drawing nigh
Soon enough the creatures of the dark shall arise
They live among us;
Dine with us,
Talk to us,
Sleep with us…
We invite them into our lives whole-heartedly
Why not?
They looked so;
Innocent,
Attractive,
Trust worthy…
The truth is,
They are just a product of serial violations,
Countless back-stabbings
Numerous betrayals
Repeated neglect and rejection
Their hearts have gone cold
Their souls are darker than night
They have mastered the art of deceit
They came in a manner-so conniving
And lay tiny eggs of destruction in our lives
So tiny are they that we barely noticed
But when the time came…
The eggs hatched into ugly-uncontrollable monsters that dragged us to hell
We went insane at the realization of the great betrayal
And before we knew it; we had turned into ticking time bombs
More or less like our violators…
We have turned into the thing we detest the most!
We’ll in turn live among our friend and families
And like a deadly venom
The evil shall spread all over our souls’
Causing its glow to dim into nothingness
One by one
We shall become the vampires we truly are
Sucking the life out of those we loved
Because our urges…
Have grown a mind of their own!
And have skillfully turned us into predators
Who live and breathe for a sole purpose;
To mercilessly hunt down their prey
From a distance,
We catch a whiff of your sweet scent-
As the breeze passes by
We then lay in waiting
Suitably camouflaged;
That we may preserve the element of surprise!
As you draw closer …
Our senses go on high alert
A victory dance by our hormones precedes the main event
So enthralling is that moment;
That we can feel you drawing closer on our skin!
Suffice to say that systems are working at double the speed
To sustains our ever growing hierarchy of insane need and wants
At the right moment,
When you are standing at the desired spot
Acting also innocent and unsuspecting
We shall pounce on you!!!
Tear you limb from limb
Then lick the crime scene clean
Leaving not even a shred of evidence
That would be proof of your existence …

The sex evolution…

2009-10-12T13:32:00.001+03:00

Innocence…
Exposure…
Thoughts…
Wanking…
Dilemma…
Curiosity…
Experimenting…
Adventure…
Twosomes…
Obsession…
Threesomes…
Foursomes…
Orgies…
Loss of meaning…
Lack of interest…
Search for “the one”…
Disillusionment…
Thrill seeking…
Predatory behavior…
Sociopathic tendencies…
Looney bin/jail…
Aging…
Body parts become vestigial organs…
Denial…
Depression…
Death…

AN OPEN LETTER TO SAFARICOM

2009-10-09T19:00:00.000+03:00

Dear Mr. Joseph,

I bet your having a wonderful day up the in you Safaricom towers fancy office. Why wouldn’t you? I mean; you have a multimillion dollar company under your control- you have 70% of the Kenyan mobile using population under your spell-you successfully introduced a magical designer drug called MPESA and even proceeded to upgrade the drug into a 3G powered Safaricom live strain. Oh your good Mr. Joseph you’re really good!!! So I’m just going to ask; how did you do it? You smoothly snuck into my beloved country and put us all in Safaricom trance!!! In a blink of an eye they started to uproot the Telkom booths and everybody went wireless!!! There I was thinking that GPRS was as far as it would go! How naïve of me, don’t you think? You must have gone to Hogwarts (the harry porter magic school) because it not every day that normal human beings wake up and decide that: to day I’ll introduce EDGE to the Kenyan market, tomorrow I’ll unleash some MPESA, next week I’ll unveil some 3G powered system…while I’m at it I will drop some promotion-marketing gimmicks and even fund a few worthy causes like marathons, schools and Christmas surprises to keep them hooked on my good loving n begging for more…oh your goooood, so good that you should start a college to pass down you skills to the population.
By the way I really hope that this letter doesn’t suck seeing as it’s been so long since I jotted a missive to any one-why would I? All I have to do is click my call button and say whatever it is that’s on my mind to whomever it may concern!!! I highly doubt that anyone has retained their letter writing skills; even interviews are carried on over the telephone!!! I don’t mean to point fingers but this is mostly your fault. But looking on the brighter side, its also your fault that: business deals are carried on with more ease, money transfer is freakishly fast and stress free, spouses have swiftly managed to catch cheating partners, workaholic parent are able to talk to their kids every day, it’s basically become a small world because of you and your kind (telecom service providers).
Now that you so skillfully sowed your cell phone seeds, they’ve sprouted and spread like a draught resistant weed!!! Even you, have to admit that you’re reaping benefits that you never ever imagined or dreamed of-not even in your wildest dream. Oh well, the deed is done, and I for one cannot imagine life without a cell phone; I like to switch it off once in a while but that’s as far as it goes-just off for a week end…any longer and bad things will happen!!! God forbid that MPESA should crush seeing how hooked we are on that service, I don’t even think I would cope with the withdrawal symptoms; even a few minutes system delay gives me a heartache!!!
So the other day I was chilling in the house watching TV-minding my own business; then there you are in my living room telling me to look at my phone! And I’m thinking, the nerve of this man! Telling me what to do now-do I not spend enough cash on your services as it is?? Now you’re going to magically appear into my living room and tell me to look at my phone! What gives!!! Anyhow, I tried to resist my great urge to look at my phone as directed but failed miserably! So I looked; and there it was “supa ongea 5/=”! OMG this man will stop at nothing!! Do you even sleep at night??? Because I honestly believe that you stay up all night devising ways in which unsuspecting consumers like myself will hurl large bundles of money your way!!! Do you have any idea just how much time people in my age bracket spend on Safaricom powered facebook??? We wake up and log in before our morning prayer-pee-coffee-bonk-and other things people do soon as they wake up but before they go to work/school/laze around the house…it even get worse when they do it at work /class (or did u actually believe that all those people in front of screens in various organizations/ institutions were dedicated to the cause??? Heck no, they’re just chatting away on fb-nimbuzz-ebuddy google talk-yahoo messenger etc).BTW I’m not snitching, I’m just trying to show you what a friendly population we are; all we want to do is talk to somebody-anybody!! If I was snitching I’d have included porn.com and various download sites…hehe
Anyway, seeing what an entranced consumer I am, you would agree that I am entitled to a few answers and clarifications even a few demands:
1. Why is it that nobody around me (family, friends and foes) ever wins anything in your promotions? I must say that this is very suspicious…
2. Wouldn’t it be awesome if this holiday season we would send and receive texts at the speed of light instead of the usual 48hr delay or even worse message not delivered but you took my airtime (which BTW could be considered stealing/conning)!
3. I have noted with great concern that calls never go through at events such as graduations and texts are also delayed-it would be really nice if during my graduation this little problem could be solved.
4. Couldn’t you out of the kindness of your heart make each bonga point worth every 5bob spent! I’ve been trying to win that phone for the longest time now!!!
5. Now that topping up some airtime has become more like getting my daily “fix” wouldn’t it be nice if you gave us an offer like wacky Wednesday at steers/terrific Tuesday at pizza inn/fantastic Friday at creamy inn…maybe call it super Saturday where I buy one scratch card and get one absolutely free!!!
6. Maybe you could explain how you choose your promotion winners to me that way I have a chance of winning that car…or we could just skip ahead to the part where you just present me with the goods; the car-a laptop-a loaded modem-an iphone-a year supply of airtime(I spend 100 per day) and anything else you might want to add…a girl’s got to dream…

PS: conveniently programming supa ongea at 80cts around 1am is just nasty-a really bad tease-who’s awake at that time on a week day??

Your undeniably loyal customer,
Miss kristy.

THE LAW OF THE JUNGLE

2009-10-09T18:58:00.000+03:00

It’s been be brought to my attention that most of the male species have signed an agreement which states that any female who can’t stand lies and excuses and maybe even likes to be lavished with nice fancy things is to be treated with contempt and given all manner of names…a real shame really seeing that it the poor females are being victimized for naturally bowing to the law that mother nature has so carefully created to ensure the continuity of the species… it is after all survival for the fittest; the well endowed and intelligent-after all, have you ever heard of a weaver bird that moved in to a half build nest? Or a falcon that chose an incapable mate? Or a king of the jungle that couldn’t defend and provide for it “subjects”?
face it people, if you want to be king you might as well act the part; take responsibility, respect yourself, have some pride & grow a pair while you’re at it…oh and don’t fool yourself-without the “daily bread” your roar is as good as a child’s tantrum. It’s very simple really and just a matter of simple discrimination; if he cannot protect and provide for himself…how on earth will he protect and provide for me??? And you must keep in mind that she is a reflection of you-so if she looks like crap; it’s extremely obvious that you are full of crap!!! And if you do plan to remain king then I suggest that you change your act real fast because in the words of Chris Rock in ‘shoot the messenger’; “…when you lose your source of income/job and do nothing about it-she may not leave you right there and then, but be warned that the countdown has begun…something about a lady retrieving her wallet and pulling out money really dries up the pussy!!! It’s like the wallet send a message to the vagina!!!” what can I say; this shit happens…
You’re probably arguing that it’s the year 2009 and women can go on and get the money and cater for their kept husbands and I say that that is bullshit!!!What the fuck!!! Boys will always be boys-they want their egos pampered-food ready on time-some action regardless of aching bones n shit-he’ll probably have a mpango wa kando and a 3rd wheel just in case…and you’re their working hard for the family-he’ll even give you a black eye because you back talked when he asked for drinking money-seeing as you actually make the cash!!! So no; there shall be no room for lazy-‘non-creative’-full of excuses little S.O.Bs…impunity must be ended…
Seriously your fore fathers fought lions and other creatures-brought exotic gifts from all over the universe-even started world wars…all these because of the women they loved/desired…why on earth do you want to end this lovely tradition??? I say that if you want to keep it-you’re gonna have to work real hard for it; after all it’s in your genes so don’t fight it!!!

Ms. Sexy thighs

2009-10-09T18:47:00.000+03:00

I was at the club the other day, as usual my girlfriend was busy grabbing ass (sometimes its so bad her biceps hurt the next morning!). so I’m busy getting to know my chilled vodka better as I walked along the perimeter of the dance floor; normally my eyes don’t wander but getting drunk changes a woman…so as I surveyed the dance floor I couldn’t help but to notice a pair of long sexy African thighs barely covered by a tiny mini skirt; the distance between the hem of her skirt and the stilettos was gloriously covered by miles and miles of sexy chocolaty goodness- I didn’t realize it at the time but those inviting thighs had magically managed to magnetically pull me from the perimeter into the middle of the dance floor where the thighs had now just turned around to unleash the most amazing gluteus muscle I had ever laid my eyes on…how convenient it was that the Dj should load the track “booty booty rocking everywhere”! I must admit that I never saw anything move quite like that;it was tempting to spank-hell that mama could rob a bank with those goods…
I then proceeded to swiftly slice off the young gentle man who was trying to get lucky with ms.sexy thighs and after successfully managing to isolate her, I proceeded to the main agenda which is grabbing ass like theres no tomorrow…it felt so good that for a moment I’d forgotten where I was and maybe even got carried away as we danced to ushers “make love in this club”…hot damn
Tonight I went to the club random chick was waving randomly at me and I’s wondering whether I’m supposed to know her and maybe even wave back? I innocently walk over to set the record straight convined that this lady was confussing with somebody else…after explaing myself, she threw me the combo of a highly disgusted and hurt lookk grabbed her drink and walked away!!!
As expected, I watched her behind swagger away and then realised fuck!!! Its miss sexy thighs!!! How the hell would I convince her that the only thing I recognised about her was her very sexy thighs!!! I sat there dumbfounded and watched the thighs dissapper around the corner…I felt like a right moron…

curls or locks...

2009-09-19T18:32:00.003+03:00

i can't even begin to describe the troubles I've been experiencing with my hair...sigh...I'm just tired of braiding-i don't want to perm it (at the risk of going bald)seeing as I'm always in the pool-and i definitely don't want to shave it all off again!!! so it brings me down to two decisions;curly kit it or lock it...
trouble is i know nothing about curly kit!!! but i hear that its water friendly and easy to manage...how ever i don't want to turn out all disastrous!!! the thing about lock is that they take time to form and I'm supposed to go on internship in less than 5 months and I'm not wig friendly...uhhhh....i don't know what to do...i just don't...
i really hope i get a good-professional hair expert this week to give good advice and hopefully point me in the right direction....
if it turns out well...i promise to upload the snaps...and i bet u will like...

The art of falling in love

2009-09-17T13:24:00.005+03:00

I dare say that we have perfected the art of falling in love;
we have learned all there was to learn from our fore fathers-
and even added a hint of new age allure
we shall tell what you have longed to hear
criticize just enough for you to see that we care-
but not too much that you pull away
we shall look deep into your eyes and hypnotize you with our gaze
we shall touch just a little to tease you but enough to make you beg for more
and when you taste our lips...
you shall be obsessed by the miraculous goodness that you shall experience
it shall be a feeling like no other
an ecstasy that only heaven is thought to provide
a warmth that beats the suns rays
a madness that slowly creeps into your mind taking you captive
we shall sneak into your heart and loot all that it holds
all this time you will be an unsuspecting victim of our trance
we shall create ,for you, an illusion that:
looks like love,
sounds like love
and even feels a lot like love...
trouble is;its a sweet slow impending tragedy about to plunder your soul,
when we are through with you
it will feel like you just got hit by a bus
and even got attacked by an angry mob for not giving the bus ample passing space!!!
you shall awake feeling like the living-dead
there will be no colours in your wake
laughter and passion will be a thing of the past
for we will have sucked the life out of you
why me???
you will ask yourself
why not you???
we shall answer...
after all you fell in love with supreme evil
and only because we created an irresistible illusion
you even trampled over the people who truly loved you
as you sprinted towards our illusion
we lavished you with all thing fancy and trendy
and you came running...
you have literally been sleeping with the enemy
no matter...
you shall become one of us now
violated and plundered by those before us
what was once sweet love has turned into disturbia
and before you know it
love will be wilting in your presence
for your touch shall prove to be venomous to it
you will be utterly incapable of falling in love
and then slowly but surely...
you shall perfect the art of creating illusions;
you shall be a master in the art of falling in love...

the love business...

2009-09-08T15:17:00.003+03:00

i think it's pretty obvious that our lives revolve around love! look at it this way;when you're attracted to somebody,you spend a lot of energy,time and money texting-calling-surprising them with pricey gifts etc.then when get the object of your desire right where you want them "aki ingia box",it becomes an up hill task of keeping them pleased by remembering anniversaries-birthdays-I'm sorry gifts etc. then you commit to them and its an even harder task of budgeting for the house, weddings, weekend escapes for the two of you, kids pop up... and the money is just not enough-the energy is all burned out at work-and the time you used to spend with each other seems to have shrunk...then the trouble begins:we start spending money trying to make each other jealous or to maintain lovers on the side "mpango wa kando", we start hiring divorce lawyers,getting favorable environments for the kids,dividing the wealth you worked so hard to attain...in short separations and divorce cost a lot of money...even more than it costs to start the relationship...looking at all the above you must agree with me when i say that love is a lucrative business.
at the center of the love business we have the sexual predators;they come in all shapes and sizes, most of them happen to be wealthy and energetic,others are beautiful and very scheming while the last group is made up of the members of our society that weren't socialized enough to know that intimacy can never be forced of a person...they're popularly known as sex offenders...they are usually the perpetrators of gruesome acts on fellow human beings and they end up getting killed in a terrible way by a mob of angry people or getting jailed for life,either way they are miserable!!! i honestly think that sex education is important to our society and it would reduce such acts of brutality because people would be socialized in the topic hence myths like raping kid or virgins as a cure for AIDS or marital-rape would be unheard of...but noooo,in our society we insist on treating sex educations as a taboo topic isn't this a pity...

the rich and energetic predators are those among us who have the resources to attract anyone they please-their daily an them is the tune "discovery channel" for to them we are just but mammals and we should therefore do it like they do it on discovery channel... they tend to be corporate whores who have no compunction to cheat on their spouse of many year with a girl or boy who is the age of their kids or even younger...mostly its the rich old men who fill this position...they are usually obese and old as hell and they still insist that they look gorgeous and should therefore be treated like it. the sad part is;these old bustards get women but who I'm i to judge when this same bustards insist on buying pricey apartments-cars-lifestyles for their mistresses and thousands of side-lovers hence propelling our economy therefore helping out women who would have been languishing in poverty:who I'm i to judge when some one propels the love business (where I'm a proud share holder)...

the beautiful and scheming group is by far my most favourite:they are the material girls that believe that they in fact deserve all things fancy and expensive-and you will in fact provide them... these are men and women who truly believe that they are Gods gift to man kind;they in fact honestly think that without them life as it is would end...they are the gorgeous but poisonous flowers whose scent makes us whole! we all love to hate them yet we just cannot live without the for they provide us with the drama that we so crave, their lips taste like cherry-grape juice.we know that they are bad for us and that they'll crush our hearts when they are through with us but we just don't care!!! all we want is the short but life altering moments of passion that they provide though leaving us scarred for life.we insist on investing tonnes of energy, time and money in this short lived moments of heaven provided by these angelic creatures who hold our mind captive...then when your wells run dry the creatures of our obsession disappear like mist after the sun...and as if by magic they go away smoothly leaving us confused and scarred for life...

yes people thats the nature of transactions in the love business; the more resources you have the higher your chances of getting "Cinderella".to maintain her is quite the task...but the good news is that everyone is a player in tho love business because everyone falls in love at some point and the feeling is so overwhelming that saying "no" just isn't an option! those who aren't already in the cursed trance of love look forward to it yet those of us who have worked so hard to protect ourselves from cupids wretched touch are usually most violently violated by the love pandemic...its a pity really...

but rest assured that we in the love business will be right here waiting for you our dear consumer to fall under the cupid trance;we shall be more than honored to roll out the red carpet and provide the champagne to toast away your wells of resources to love:we shall provide pricey bouquets of flowers, catalogs of villas-designer wear and holiday resorts, we shall open up 5 star hotels an serve overpriced dishes just for you, we shall make drugs to treat or prevent any diseases that love or lust may breed, we shall open up hospitals for you to give birth in and provide expensive procedures that must be followed, we shall provide health,fitness and beauty spas for you to get all dolled up for a potential mate, we shall provide bridal showers and stag parties and churches for your expensive weddings,we shall give you schools and camps for your kids, we shall provide expensive recreational activities for your husband and their mistresses...and when its all over;we shall provide a shark like attorney to plead to divorce case so that you get 90% of the property-that your cheating husband may learn a lesson in commitment. his mistress shall as expected vanish into thin air and he will come crawling back to you and beg for your forgiveness but you will have moved on with some young handsome gigolo who will whisk all your wealth from under your feet and you will come crushing down from your moral high horse and no longer will you call the shots...
yes if you didn't know; "the cupids trance" is Gods way of making things even in the society...its the only thing that crosses the man made boundaries of race-class-religion-beauty... and we in the love business shall alway be prepared to serve you diligently; its our way of life...

dirty little secrets...

2009-09-01T17:11:00.004+03:00

As the moon bade us farewell and the sun brought forth his warm-fuzzy goodness from the east, no one could have foreseen that were to unfold later that day. Everything seemed fairly normal; you know the cute little birds chirping away in sweet romance during mating season, the stallions feeling supremely macho as they showed off their huge boy-parts to the vet and of course the dog with his new bitch who were doing the nasty in public(would you believe them-no class at all) but it was quite hilarious when they got stuck on each other while facing different direction...even funnier when an on coming car started to beep madly at them yet they couldn't decide whose direction they should follow so as to save their lives....hmmm; mating season is just the best i thought to myself.
meanwhile, Ecstasy (the gypsy slave girl)was in the barn cleaning up after her master and the vet who had just taken the stallions to town. there she was minding her own business when Leo(the masters only son) grabbed her from behind!!!
"oh master!", she said "you scared the life out of me"
"did i now", he replied sheepishly "well i didn't mean to"
they then proceeded to lay down side by side on the hay and Leo told her all about his adventures in the big city and even gave her a few gifts that he'd bought just for her. But the most dazzling of all was the contraption that looked a lot like the masters computer up in the den but was a lot smaller,fancier and portable- "a laptop" he called it. with it he put on a show popularly known as 90210 (what has the world come to;naming shows by use of numbers-90210,4400,2012,pelham123!!! whatever happened to "the rich also cry", "no one but you", "around the world in eighty days"). anyhow, they were well into the drama of the 90210 adolescents when Leo smoothly slid his hand up Ecstasy's skirt!
upon feeling his hand between her thighs, she jumped off the hay in horror!
"what do you think you're doing", she screamed with a panic stricken face
"if you must know", said Leo "I'm trying to tickle your vertical smile!!"
"as humiliatingly funny as that may be"she continued "it'll land me in great trouble with the mistress who may very well beat the fear of the good lord into me if she dare finds us"
"oh don't worry your little head about mother" he said " beside you know how i feel about you"
at this point, Leo's attempt at tasting her cherry red lips were extremely frustrating as she kept dodging him which only frustrated him into aggression; he grabbed her neck in an attempt to keep her face steady but that only caused panic to the girl whose heart was now breathing wildly underneath her bosom. she clearly dint take this gesture kindly as the struck his balls with her knee and ran off leaving him agonized and curled up in foetal position on floor of the barn.
seeing as his homecoming had started on such a high note(what with the rejection and kicking), it was only natural that it should slowly but steadily rise to a crescendo. everyday he made attempts at jumping her bones which all failed tragically. months went by and his pursuit quickly turned into obsession and all he could think about were the treasures that lay in waiting underneath that gypsy skirt.
one night as he walked around the compound, he noticed the light on in Ecstasy's bathroom,he steadily moved closer and propped himself by the bricks to get a clear view; and there she was, bare as the day she was born with soapy bubbles all over her shiny skin. Leo, as if in a trance, whipped out his member and started rubbing frantically. suddenly the light went out and the door banged as she left the bathroom. he stood there motionless and alone in the cold darkness feeling endless pangs of shame of his current disposition with the nude girl as he pulled up his pants and walked away with his head hang low. he just couldn't understand what had possessed him to do that and unfortunately(or fortunately in his case) the peeping obsession continued for weeks till he finally hatched an awesome plan that was sure to get the girl.
every evening after the girl had done her chores he would hand her a poem,a flower or a gift. he also didn't attempt to even lay a finger on her-he was quite the gentleman; he'd even fold up the poetry in little cute shapes.this technique apparently was working like a charm(seducing her with warm fuzzy goodness was tastier than chocolate). one evening he got home from work looking tired as a stray dog but didn't fail to hand over the gift to the girl(who by the way was greatly moved by this).
"you look like crap" she said
"i know", he replied "wretched day at work"
"meet you at the barn in 5 minutes??" she asked
Leo stood dumbfounded by what had just happened, then slowly a wicked smile spread across his face; had it actually worked? would she really hand me the "goods"? a mixture of excitement and confusion ran through his mind and without wasting another second he ran into the barn,got undressed and posed like a Greek god(in a bid to display all his magnificence).in walked Ecsatsy with a jar of olive oil and a towel, but she quickly stopped in her tracks on seeing a nude Leo!!!
"what is the meaning of this?" she screeched
Leo who was now red with embarrassment was quickly trying to recover the remaining few ounces of dignity he had left by covering his now very shrunken boy-parts.
"i apologize m'lady- i must have misunderstood your intentions", he said totally avoiding eye contact.
she sighed and requested him to roll over that she may give him a massage as she had originally intended. its only imaginable just how hard it must have been for a now tortured Leo; to have this angels hands smooth his skin all over again and again.

for the weeks that followed, he unfailingly delivered flowers, poetry and other gifts to her doorstep, till one day he showed up a little later than usual and as he dropped off the parcel he had a soft moaning behind her door.could it be the gardener-the guard or even the cook!!! who was she with!!! he felt his heart ripping and hellish fires rushed all through his skin. that little slat!he thought to himself as he tried to find a way in so as to witness the great betrayal with his very own eyes. the moans were getting loader and faster, he just couldn't bear it so he broke the latch and walked in right through the door and alas! Ecstsy's legs were suspended in mid air with their seamstress's face lodged between high thighs eating her out and her fingers frantically going in&out of her when suddenly she squirt!!! all the while Leo stood rooted to the ground with a stiffy in his pants and his heart still painfully throbbing(he wasn't sure if he was angry or excited). Ecstasy who was still in heavenly euphoria sat up to the sight of Leo!
"ohmigod! Leo!" she squealed "what are you doing here?"
A panic stricken seamstress(who by the way happened to be married!) jumped to her feet and ran into the darkness.
Leo who had now mastered up enough energy to walk towards Ecstasy took a chair and sat right opposite her staring at her guilty face. its then that he realized just how well in over his head he was with this one...
there seemed to be an endless deafening silence between them when he finally spoke knowing that he now had the upper hand.
"you realize that i just caught you committing adultery with a married woman?" he asked "you do know that means big trouble for you?"
A mortified Ecstasy, who was only covered in a single sheet, tried to justify her actions;
"oh master" ,she started "try and empathize with me-I'm just a lonely woman who needs some loving once in a while"
"you have to stop calling me master", he replied "you know how i feel about you,why didn't you just come to me?"
"tell you what", she said "why don't you just erase what you just saw and we can make a new memory;i can make you a very happy man"
she stood up and the sheet slid down her curves as she reached out to Leo (who had a mind not to let trivial matters such as adultery ruin the moment. he reached out and walked over to her-hypnotized by her beautiful eyes that shimmered in the moonlight and just like that he awoke to do the limp of shame the next morning as Ecstasy had temporarily crippled him with her sweet all night loving...

the botox talk

2009-09-01T16:57:00.002+03:00

yesterday,mom wanted to know my feelings about botox!
would i use botox!!!
well yes, i don't see anything wrong with wanting to look younger.
a shot of collagen to the skin doesn't worry me one bit its not like bleaching or steroid
besides its strictly your business if you want to have a face lift or breasts n but cheeks that are bigger or smaller!!!
she was apparently appalled by my attitude towards the superficial industry!!!
she almost called it immoral!!!
would you believe that!!!
"clearly we don't see eye to eye on this one,so lets just shelf it", she said
"i couldn't agree more", i replied
i stood there silently, wondering just how she would react if she knew the other "immoral" stuff that I'm in to...

my partner in crime...

2009-08-30T17:40:00.003+03:00

i have just taken a "what turns me on quiz" and it turns out that i'm a brain person... well of course i am...i also remember ticking that in the process of filling in the quiz answers!!!! so this is what they told me "Hey there brainy...your the most intelligent ones and are attracted to brains...(ofcourse).....Your special some one must have that brain thing to turn you on....ur good in everything related to brain may it be at work, home or with ur special some one....you just like being that...and it is awesome...after all looks isent everything....Thats the spirit...keep goin on...because being that way is ur way....How Awesome!!"
duhhhhh...of course i'm a brain person: i like to be challenged by my potential mate...i don't want to feel like we are from different planets or species when we meet up and start a conversation.... even worse when you cannot get my jokes!!!
besides, how are we going to get together if you cannot scheme and plan a dangerous escapade or sexcapade...hehehe; i just couldn't resist that one... i need a person who can plan and follow through with our very evil plans to conquer the world-muhahahaha(evil laugh); we shall start by amassing large sums of money from chosen institutions and hypnotizing powerful leaders and making "the perfume" that brings every one at our mercy... we shall rule you earthlings!!!! so start bowing to my power!!!! now if i could only find that person/partner/mate with whom i shall rule the world with... and the search begins...
note: hopefully i will not become a power hungry crazy hormonal bitch and end up killing the chosen mate in a crazy-evil rage like a female pry-mantis!!! THE HORROR!!!!

orgasmic

2009-08-28T19:13:00.001+03:00

You,me,us and them...we are all so different; our opinions,beliefs,language,wants,needs...all so different.

That i support chelsea while you support man u and she supports arsenal is trouble brewing by itself...

That they like democracy,you prefer dictatorship while my grip on anarchy gets tighter by day...

That they speak in japanese,while you speak in spanish and i speak in english...

That he worships Allah,while you are a follower of buddha and i believe in sweet Jesus...

That she opts for polyfidelity or polyamory while you believe in monogamy and it sickens you...the fact that i think monogamist are living in a fools paradise-you and me together for ever...mmmmh,i think its common knowledge that one of us is lying...

That we have created a tower of babel thanks to our opinions,believes,language,wants and needs...how amazing it is that we have all managed to exile,outcast,excommunicate and discriminate each other based on our individuality...

Whats more amazing is that only one thing seems to break all our self imposed barriers,to harmonize our differences,to connect us all without discrimination...i call it...the power of the orgasm!! Shocked?? Well don't be...think about it...

So strong is its power that we shelf all our differences...through its power we share the same heaven by religious orgasm...you don't even have to understand my language to feel its fierce power-after all,actions do speak louder than words in this situation...

Yes,through the power of the orgasm; we cheer for the same team,see the same heaven,speak the same language,opinions are shared,differences deleted...you,me,us and them become one-in the power of the orgasm...

a meditation on self

2009-08-28T19:12:00.001+03:00

In my head,
Everything is everywhere...
Some times its a warzone; my thoughts fighting and screaming...
The confusion, torture and agony;
should vs. Should'nt,shall vs. Shant,will vs wont...
All struggling for the position of my final decision...

I like it when its a disco (in my head)...
all the thoughts,memories and wonders come to life...
They are mingling-knowing each other-having fun...
everyone's got drinks,they're all looking hot,they're dancing,chilling even making out...
i should tell you that the disco in my head only serves alcoholic drinks...gateway drugs are allowed...that explains why i remember crazy-random things...
At this point,im very indecisive-flirty even a tease; yes-no-maybe-i dont know-who cares...

Mostly i like to be in a trance...
Everything is calm,cool,serene-just perfect...at this time i do not argue,bitch,hate... i'm sane,scheming,highly organized and effective...
in a trance,i rule the world,i get away with crimes,i am dangerous...
In a trance-i operate at a gifted level...
The trance is the climax of my potential... It is where i love to bask...

natural high

2009-08-28T19:11:00.002+03:00

Unwell,insane,twisted,outrageous, obsessed,possessed...possessed?? Maybe...wild?? Definately...yes,i can relate to that word-wild...wild and free...
Sometimes in a semi-conscious state,i can hardly feel the earth beneath my feet,creatures of the night hold me hostage:bites-bruises-scratches-memories in bits n pieces,time keeps playing tricks on me-at times everythings moves at the speed of light then there is a deceleration when everything is in slow motion suddenly time stops-everything around me freezes...i'm in a natural high...not even a combination of herbs,flavours and vapourised vodka can bring me to these heights...tis a wild hallucination where me and my visions become one...the words from my books come to life-the images in my head have a life of their own...sometimes i cant take it-its too much...i start to walk away but they wont leave me alone...i find myself jogging then running into nothingness...my quick feet dont seem to find the ground-dilated vessels-uncontrolable heart beats-lungs overheating-thoughts in disarray...its a freefall to a world unknown,im submerged in a world of illusions and fantasiez...i am who i want to be-i am what i want to be-i am where i want to be...armed and in flight ready to flirt with death...in my natural high...

a dotty affair

2009-08-28T19:11:00.001+03:00

A dot...
Thats what i am,that's what fully describes me...yes, a dot is so perfectly me!!!
On a good day,i'm the dot that leads to the line that leads to the creation of a masterpiece...the sort of creation that wows you-blows your mind-takes your breath away-moves you to tears-makes your knees feel like jelly...yes, that amazing dot right there is me!!!
On a bad day, i'm the dot that leads to the line that leads to a doodle...hehe...yeah,thats me!!! The good news is, that sometimes the rainbow accidentally sprays its lovely colours all over me and i actually pass for a fine piece of art at the exhibition we all call life...
the bad news is that on really twisted day,this little dot right here leads to the line that causes massive doses of confussion-mayhem-chaos-havoc-destruction-disarray-sadness-loneliness...a world of misery...
On an undecided day,this dot leads to the line which leads to the land of surprises...sometime lovely-other times horrid...mostly, on such days,this dot finds itself in the middle of nowhere-absolutely loaded with nothingness and has to get creative-tactful-scheming-smart-skillful...to make something out of the nothing...to turn the 'nowhere' into 'now here'...
yes, i'm the dot that leads to the line which leads to the creation of wonders-marvels-awe...even excitement!!!
Yes,that little dot at the begining and at the end is little old me...

at the liqueur store

2009-08-28T19:10:00.001+03:00

Dear vodka,why you strongly appeal to me still remains a mystery...though we are in an open relationship,you will always be my numeral uno-my main squeeze...you and i have been through alot-by my side you have been through my ups and downs-home or away...you are the kind of lady people parade to their friends and family...why??? you are fine,bold,strong...three times a woman-you are triple distilled,arent u??? You my dear,are simply perfect...
Dear whisky,i must admit your my favourite out of town girl,its common knowledge that you will never be my main squeeze but being with you once in a while make me smile...till we meet again my dear...
Dear gin,my favourite 'mpango wa kando'...hell,even my numeral uno is threatened by you...and for good reasons i must add; yes, its true that you confuse,derail and distract me...but we both know that Vodka is firmly anchored in my heart...so please stop playing those silly funny games-lets just be civilized about what we have going...just so you know-i love your scent...it makes me wild;-)
Dear red,white and pink wine...mmmmh...you are to me,the older woman; fine,mature,aging perfectly,classy,wise,experienced...the list is endless...problem is,with you its a routine-you're too rigid...you simply fail to be adventerous-fun...im sorry,i cant have that...but once in a while,we can get together and have a little fun...
Brandy,brandy,brandy... Ms. Alwayz available; with u its anytime-anyplace...simply put: you're a trick...you and i simply shouldn't be together!!! That you've gotten away with it a few times is simply a tragedy...im not trying to be mean to you...its just that you leave a bad taste in my mouth...please don't look so sad...im very sure someone out there wants you right now...
Beer,you and i can never be...its written in stone...

tiny little candle

2009-08-28T19:09:00.003+03:00

Sometimes,when I'm alone,i like to sit on the floor-in the deep silent darkness-i light a tiny little candle-burn some incense...and simply breath...only when I'm by myself...
I sometimes lie down,shut my eyes and simply inhale the serenity that surrounds me,as i exhale the negativity that's been weighing me down...i let myself float away to worlds unknown to the conscious-resisting-limiting mind...
Other times,i assume the meditation position and simply ponder away...the 'things' in my mind cease to be chaotic-confused-at war-here n there...i marvel at how the tragic mess up there is replaced by smooth sailing-swift-neat-smart-accurate-precise-a perfect execution of thoughts and impulses...
Indeed, when I'm solo-in the deep silent darkness-with my little candle ablaze and incense caressing every inch of us...every thing becomes crystal clear-it adds up-it all makes sense-problems are solved-ideas are born...everything mingles and connects into a perfect sphere...
Right there on the floor,the universe and i are conversing;no words are used,just signs-symbols-impulses-intuitions...I'm in harmony with my environment...
Oh yes,on the floor-in deep silent darkness-incense burning-with my tiny little candle ablaze...i have found the mother off all insight:that my tiny candle and i are one...
you see,the world is the immense silent darkness; should i (the tiny little candle) get overwhelmed by the darkness and give up thus self-extinguishing...I'll die a poor soul who made almost no difference at all...the tiny little candle that could have been but never was...
But should i be bold enough and dare to take on the world head-on...then I'll be the tiny little candle that set the rag ablaze which in turn lit up the curtains-walls-buildings...maybe even caused a bushfire to the nearby woods...
I'll be the seemingly harmless-docile-innocent-tiny little candle that cause a freaking inferno...now,who on earth could possibly forget such a 'tiny little' candle???

stranger than fiction

2009-08-28T19:09:00.002+03:00

Assuming that each word i write will take me a step closer to freedom...freedom from the anguish i harbour in the depth of my soul-freedom from you; the object of my limerence...i need to set myself free from the crystallized illusion of you that i have created in my head...im searching for the way out of this quagmire that i unconsciously created, before its too late;i don't really know how i got here-how a seemingly innocent crush has developed into a monstrous situation that has a life of its own...
you,the object of my wild desire, have succeded to fill the position of the angel that haunts my every thought,dream,fantasy-torturing my soul-punishing my heart...my heart...i need freedom from from my heart-you see, before you magically appeared in my life,my heart was in perfect condition:icecold-indifferent-preserved-unmoved-mechanical-perfect...now its come alive-constantly beating faster at thoughts of you-seeing you is a nightmare for my heart exerts itself and tends to work at superhuman levels...sometimes i feel like its tearing out of my chest-i experience overwhelming sensations of pain and pleasure ramming in the walls of my chest...i cant bear to talk to you for i think i may just suffer a heart attack...
whats worse,is that you haven't the faintest clue of the agony i carry within...limerence unrequited...'tis a pain greater than all other pains combined-the bondage that holds my soul hostage-a hellish fire set ablaze...a fire that is sustained and developed by the cocktail of perfectly balanced hope and uncertainty that you feed to me on the daily in minute-tiny-negligible doses...a fire that now consumes me slowly in the form of conflicts,battles and wars of feelings within me:wars between intense joy and extreme despair,euphoria and depression,pain and pleasure...'tis heaven and hell inside of me and nobody not even you know about it...
i wonder how long i will keep my head above water...how long i'll keep up the fight before i give into this ocean of apprehension,nervousness,anxiety caused by the terrible worry that my slightest screw up may lead to the disaster that's 'a non-existant US' falling apart...
i saw you again the other day and my feelings i couldn't control-my equilibrium unravelled-my thoughts in disarray-my breath taken away-my person depersonalized...its like time had stopped and i had stepped out of my body momentarily to watch,from a safe distance,the impending disaster unfold...for a moment i was invisible-reaching out but not touching-crying out your name without a voice...i then turned and silently watch you walk away...such is the erotomanic misery that i languish in...
so many words i have written yet i am still not free from the great illusion that breeds within me; reproducing baby illusions of a possible 'us'...endless possibilities of me talking to you-touching you-kissing your soft lips-holding you-making sweet love to you...just being with you...possibly...

blast and splash

2009-08-28T19:08:00.002+03:00

A water bomb in my style...was the track this particular train of thought was supposed to follow...you see,a few nights ago as we were getting intoxicated and blabbering the night away...it occured to me that i take great joy and pride in 'disturbing the peace'-being a nuisance of sorts...i never plan it; it just happens!!!
For instance,at the swimming pool it excites me to make bombs and splash water all over the place.when it comes to painting-it pleases me to just splash paint here-there-and everywhere.at the sandbox-well,lets just say i used to be a miniature terrorist!!!
This is not to say that all aspects of my life are chaotic and out of order...on the contrary,most aspects of my life are highly organised and smooth sailing...but where i can,i like to go crazy-splash and blast in honour of my life-exhibit pretty outrageous and outlandish behaviour...
why??? Because i can-because it keeps me sane-because the trail the future follows is a faint one that can take any given turn,sudden ones even, depending on how you navigate;the last thing you need is to go on a lifetime expetition when you're stressed-tensed-anally retentive!!!
All i'm saying is that you're the master of your destiny...stop paying too much attention to the world outside yourself-getting agitated over petty issues-building up so much negative energy...stop it! for it will only waste you and leave you feeling misused and abused!!! It's time to focus all that scattered energy into your innerself-time to to listen to your soul-time to dance to the rhythm of your life-time to defend what you believe in-time to jelously guard your hopes and dreams...and if in this journey you feel the urge to dance to silence-scream and wail-laugh for no good reason-take long leisurely walks in the rain...then just do so if it'll keep you sane and happy,after all it doesn't hurt anybody...just remember;it's your life-your dream-your story-your adventure...the least you could do is live it...

love's on leave

2009-08-28T19:08:00.001+03:00

Seems to me that love’s taken a vacation,
She took some of her sh*t and went,
She left quite unceremoniously I must say,
No good bye- no explanations,
She just left…
But she’ll be back,
I'm sure of this; because she left most of her stuff behind,
But before that time comes,
I’m just gonna be raising hell,
Causing havoc-mayhem-chaos,
there'll be loads of liqueur,
plenty of getting stoned,
the goddamn party just got a life of its own,
everything is on auto pilot,
wonder if I'll find myself in a tails spin...
spiraling down,
wonder if i should finally go on my "sweet escape",
without her by my side,
this is the status-quo,
till she comes back again...

sweet escape

2009-08-28T19:07:00.002+03:00

I've been a little off lately,something to do with reviving my notepad since the bar tender's safer keeping of my phone! But i realized and admited a few things like:i have an insatiable need 4 trouble-danger-chaos-mayhem etc,i love my own company;its so bad that sometimes i'd much rather have a date with my beverage-a good book-a screen...than have a real date with a human and yes,vodka is still my most fav drink. However,i've discovered a new thrill:its called going under-disappearing-vanishing...sweet escape!
All u have to do is to lose yourself in time and space preferably in unfarmiliar territory with strange characters! For a split second you will experience a rush that's a combination of all your fav thrills and poisons...
The catch is: sweet escape is a timed vault...once the door shuts, you get trapped inside-trapped in "wander" land-the good news is in wanderland all the beings have gone insane-we unanimously agreed that it was time to pretend-time to rearrange life as we know it-time to lie and tell the truth in the same breath-time to let your souls connect-time to unleash ur potential,fears and skeletons...in wanderland you realize that its time to be you...

juice please

2009-08-28T19:07:00.001+03:00

I have waited for this day
I have had mixed feelings about it: longing,fear,hope,joy,even terror!
I always knew this day would come
The day i would say the words from the inside coming out
The day i would do it for me not because of you,them or anybody and everybody
Funny it should be 4th of july when i figured that i had had enough liqueur for a life time!
I just don't have the heart for it anymore...we've simply fallen out of love...
Imagine that!!!
Its been a good run though-vodka,her friends and i
Alot has been learned-bonds have been formed-mistakes made but no regrets
I find it fit to throw in the "all good things come to an end" line
No tears to be shed-no sorrow...just unmîstakable ambition (the devil's got nothing on me)!!!

lip gloss

2009-08-28T19:06:00.000+03:00

I am a fan of lips
I like them soft and inviting
Even better if they they are spread in a smile
Mostly,i like to watch those soft lips moving as you talk
I hate that i have to restrain myslef from just reaching over and kissing them
I like it when i just don't a fine f*ck and i reach over and steal a kiss
It drives me insane when you avenge my stolen kiss in the middle of the street with a million eyes on us
I like the way my blood rushes when i momentarily forget about the millions of eyes and all i can hear is heartbeats...
...and all i can feel are those sweet soft lips

Lately,my lips have been a deeper shade of pink
They have the sweet scent some exotic flower n a hint of cherries
I must not forget to say that they taste like heavenly grapes...
Where are you now that i need someone professional to taste and analyze this new flavour of lip gloss...
Where are you now?

days of our lives

2009-08-28T19:03:00.001+03:00

Me, You, Us and Them form the cast of the greatest reality show
A show so awesome that it never stops,when an actor dies we already have a replacement in waiting! Though they're never the same because you see your replacement can only be better or worse than you were;never the same!
You need not a tely to tune in to the show
The best part is that anyone can be the star; you can be the protagonist or the antagonist-the choice is yours
In our show we're always seeking thrills-we have become adrenaline junkies
We betray and cheat on our lovers most of the time.we do it for the thrill of it-to fill the emptyness-to prove a point-to avenge and my most favourite;when one thing leads to another and you couldn't help yourself
We lie and pretend to save our faces from shame-from discrimination; its pathetic especially when we lie to ourselves-when we deny what is so obviously true...
On the other hand are the good parts of this show,parts that i won't dwell on seeing that we are just human:we thrive on scandals-drama-misfortune...you don't believe me? Turn on you TV and just watch;in due time you will look into the mirror and see a saddist-scavanger-preditor-even a perv where your image used to be...
Don't fret though; its just a show that has a script that can so easily be edited...

outcast

2009-08-28T19:02:00.000+03:00

I'm told that when one finds their soulmate they get into a state of intense joy and love-nothing compares!!!
Apparently when you have more than one soulmate in a life time,it rips you apart and becomes a source of great agony...
On the other hand when you haven't even found the supposed soulmate then you're said to be languishing in loneliness and misery...
Well how is it that nobody talks about the outcasts in the land of the soulmates? Those whose hearts went icecold-those whose emotions were sucked out leaving them dead inside; its like they once had an encounter with an incubus/succubus!!!
The outcasts are so wraped up in the cold darkness that even midday and midnight are the same thing. They've gone so numb that they can't tell the difference between pain and pleasure. Their eyes are either piercingly cold or carry within them tonnes of indifference...
Its a waste of precious time and energy to love or hate an outcast, in fact, it will only hurt you;they will feed on your emotions till they suck you dry. The worst part is that they give nothing in return...
These outcast are quite the characters: they're very private people-they thrive on solitude-they're the worst kind of preditors (the kind that's held prisoner by their own vice)
There's a good side to being an outcast:when two find each other,they cause untold suffering to each other-they breed misery unlimited; the misery that they so perfectly thrive on.
In the land of the outcasts, there can never be love only obsession...and when they do find each other,it becomes the begining of a hellraising that's unmatched. I should know; I'm on the inside looking out...

in control

2009-08-28T19:01:00.000+03:00

In the world of proposals-business plans-strategies-schemes-annual reports-contracts-reports-statements and much more. Every second counts. You must not go dishing out trust to every tom dick n harry
Dare not to lose control for it shall be your undoing and before you know it the ground beneath your feet will have shifted!!! At this point it is very possible that you may have lost all your bargaining chips; then the confusion sets in and later,if you insist on playing dumb, desparation and even greed sets in...watch your self lovey for your treading on very thin ice. Soon enough, if you fail to change the plan, you'll find yourself in bed with the enemy and it will be too late to roll off and run!!! At this point you have a few options: hatch a new plan and feed it to your enemy like poison tarts hoping that they dont throw up-paint a picture of the promise land and hope it doesn't collapse prematurely-or you can fight to the death and hope to be the last man standing... I find the poison tarts work like magic.
What I'm trying to say is that you musn't lose control-bad things happen when you do. Guard it jealously and it will in turn guard you...

sweet embrace

2009-08-28T19:00:00.000+03:00

Week after week i had vivid replays of memories of you. So strong were they that i could smell and touch your skin! Your melodious laughter echoing in my head day after day! My longing for you getting worse with each passing hour...
Then, like magic; i could hear you whisper my name through the chilling darkness! At first i thought that the thoughts, that i'm always so wrapped up in, had finally come to get me! But alas! there you were standing right before my eyes!
I dont even remember walking into your arms! I just found myself there; in an embrace so warm, sweet and tender that time stopped and everything vanished! It was just you, me and our heart beats in a rhythm so insync that the moment blew me away! I do not even remember feeling the ground beneath my feet...

freaky geek

2009-08-28T18:35:00.002+03:00

i am so glad those exams are over....whoooo hoooo!!! two more semesters and i'm done with the system....whooo hoooo!!! so now im at home playing games, baking stuff and my sister is doing the karaoke thing (hilarious) and we are talking about relationships with my mom; marriage to be precise... she has all this liberal thoughts because she's single (thank God-for the liberal part) and i mostly agree with her when she says that people should really take their time before rushing in to this things... i should know; i rushed in once and it did not go very well-something to do with fools rush in...but to be fair,great lessons were learned...
i think that the big problem is that we are afraid of being who we truely are to the people we love/adore.we are too busy trying to hide our crazy-twisted nature that we ruin a good thing!!! honestly i think it much easier to just unleash your true self and if they do not like you-well and good;there is people out there (even hotter) who will surely like you for yourself: i mean you do not have to pretend to be boring yet your a crazy freak just to please him/her. or pretend to be outrageous yet stunts scare the life out of you... i mean if they love you then they will take you as you are...and thats is my stand. if we all do this, then we shouldn't have the crazy twisted surprises that spring up later in the committment...right???
on that note; i think i may be falling in love with a particular geeky freak that i met....awwwwww... the warm fuzzyness is killing me...they are into most of the crazy even highly freaky things that i find so appealing + they are sooooo cute....uhhhhhh....

the things we do for sex!!!

2009-08-14T06:14:00.000+03:00

so now I'm studying for my HIV/AIDS and substance abuse paper which I'll sit next Monday and i cant help but to replay th e song 'promiscuous gal' over and over in my head!!! especially where it goes like:"...promiscuous gal your teasing me,you know what i want and I've got what you need..."
thats when it hit me that sex makes the world go round through mutual exchange...(note the words mutual exchange-rape/sexual violence/sexual harassment are crimes punishable by murder in some countries).Through mutual exchange;we all stand to benefit-you have what i want and i have what you want...its all good unless of course you catch herpes,hepatitis,HIV and the other STIs...
assuming that all goes well, we then then appreciate the fact that if it wasn't for sex we wouldn't be here!(except insemination and test tube babies-no offence). thanks to sex, people spend millions of shillings/dollar/pounds/euros in the entertainment-health& fitness industries...he he he....you see, for you 'to get some' you need to look good (from head to toe,smell fresh) for the potential mate-you need to set the mood with some good entertainment, food and drinks. there people who put in extra energy like go to the gym regularly-plastic surgery-impressive pieces of furniture-drive fancy cars-expensive scents-fancy gadgets-overpriced food & beverages;all at obscene price tags just to attract potential mates! Then we have the sleaze-bags who prefer to liqueur up(and even drug)their potential mates and quickly take advantage of them (also known as date rape)!!!
basically, we unconsciously or sometimes consciously invest a lot of money to ensure that out libidos are satisfied... i also hear that they cracked the HIV/AIDS genome!!! well that's something to smile about...

mathimatically correct...

2009-08-14T05:05:00.000+03:00

earlier while i was studying for my statistics exam, i realized that maths is everywhere! to be honest, denial is a nice place to to hide out where maths is concerned but i am slowly coming to terms with the fact that maths is every where...
look at it this way; its involved with our finances, cooking, clothing, geek language;where everything is represented by 1 and 0... every single thing!!!
all these made me think; i like to people-watch almost as much as i like to watch cartoons...so if i was to come up with comical human characters or caricatures of real people then we all look like numbers: a slim person looks like a #1, a 'fat' person looks like a #0, while a voluptuous person looks like an #8...the best part is if these people were to walk side by side then 2 thin people would look like the #11, a thin person and a 'fat' person make #10, a thin person and a voluptuous woman make the #18 and so on...
i best go back to studying...

blue

2009-07-29T16:40:00.003+03:00

so i just took a "whats my feve colour" quizz and what do you know-they actually got it right!!! i didn't expect it at all but i suppose once in a while this quizzes arent a waste of time and space!!! and this is what they had to say abot me:

You are blue! You are a deep, sensitive dreamer. You are usually laid back and calm, though, like an ocean, you can kick up a good storm, too! You are probably a daydreamer, who has his/her head in the clouds. You love spending time with your friends, and probably just go with whatever they want to do (you're a go with the flow type of person, just like water!). You are emotionally inclined - unlike reds, who feel passionately and intensely, you feel things deeply and strongly. You are extremely loyal, and your friends can always count on you to be there for them. Blues are almost always very intelligent, and they strive for perfection in many areas. You may tend to beat yourself up for your imperfections. Other people admire you and strive to be like you, but you probably have a hard time understanding why. You can be light and fun at times, and other times deep and introverted. It just depends on your mood. Sometimes you throw people off with your random changes in disposition, but your friends love you anyways. You can be a very wise, intellectual person, but you have to pull yourself up out of your own thoughts first! You, in a nutshell: Deep, emotional, wise, loyal, slightly moody, feeling, sensitive, supportive, intelligent. BLUE!

how sweet.... they think they know me!!!

my secret...

2009-07-29T16:08:00.003+03:00

so i have been reading 'the secret' thanks to my mentor who thing that i really need to remeber how to be happy and how to use my wild imaginatio!!! not that i had forgotten; its just that sometimes things come in tripples and it easy to get really disoriented especially when you are trying to make your very own way in the world...
so i have been practicing the secret and yes it totally works for me!!! more so when it comes to matters of love-getting some and of the most important-money money money!!! i mean really the other week i missed miss lox so much that the next day while i was takinng a walk from a random date i bumped into her literally and the hugs-oh so sweet...i know u probably think i should just have called her-and i meant to...i just kept postponing it for ni good reason...but i guess the best is the way cash seems to be popping up right, left and centre...it should stay that way!!!
but today was a little bit more magical than usual: seriously i walked into a shop and my dream lover was on the other side!!! i swear the body- the way they talked- so intelligent - warm- nice- good enough to eat...and even better they actually solved my problems!!! i was so mesmrised i just couldn't help myself... i honestly dont think that i have hit on anyone at the speed i hit on that magnificent angel at the counter!!! i am meeting them later today and i hope it goes well...
on other news, i love magic and illusions and i honestly think that 'Leonid the magnificent and that cool bird popping magician from Americas got talent should throw a show in my country... i would pay big money to watch!!!

Soberville

2009-07-19T16:21:00.001+03:00

This might sound strange but i havn't had some liqueur in two weeks now! To keep my mind off miss vodka I've been playing games more than ever-doing some mini adventuring-a little knitting-reading this and that-and doing plenty of planning for some new deals.
My best pass time activity is people-watching: its a fun activity that involve watching my dates closely and examining them as if they're lab specimens and even getting into their heads and screwing with them.
Oh don't feel sorry for them! Besides 98% of the people i date tend to be pathological liars or just your everyday psycho-schizophrenic pervs! I think that explains why i enjoy being single at the moment. The remaining 2% comprises the innocent,naïve and even prudish members of our society; funny thing is that it never works outs between me and the 2%! I wonder why...
Anyway being on the sober side of life has proved to be a very interesting experience; what with all the raw bursts of energy and improved health...i feel like i just got a new battery installed in me!!! Now, what to do with all this energy...

long time

2009-07-02T15:06:00.002+03:00

i am totally freaking out because the hours draw closer to me meeting up with an old girlfriend. don't get me wrong; i'm not threatened or anything...i'm just horrified of what might happen or what she might do to me because we didn't exactly part in the best of terms and she is a drama queen!!! to be honest i don't even know why i agreed to this meeting...ok, maybe i do...i do miss her and she a living and breathing barbie doll!!! so cute...apart from when she's pissed!!!
i keep thinking that maybe the best approach is to show up and act as if nothing bad ever happen-drown myself in denial!!! problem is she want me to spend the night!!! this is a very good and very bad thing- this is infact my dilemma, because if i spend the night good things will happen but then it also give her more time to grill me on past mistakes...seriously i can only take drowning in denial for so long!!!
i think it best if i just show up and let nature take its course...

sweet escape...

2009-06-29T17:17:00.003+03:00

some of you think that i have a lazy blogger! its true that i've been a little off but its for a good cause...i think its good to take some time off from everything and jus live...do what you want to do-when you want to do it without getting harassed or guilt tripped by any one... i call it sweet escape...the down side is that what happens in sweet escape-stays in sweet escape! so i cannot really share much of the events that took place! but here is a little something to sum it up:

I've been a little off lately,something to do with reviving my notepad since the bar tender's safer keeping of my phone! But i realized and admitted a few things like:i have an insatiable need 4 trouble-danger-chaos-mayhem etc,i love my own company;its so bad that sometimes i'd much rather have a date with my beverage-a good book-a screen...than have a real date with a human and yes,vodka is still my most fave drink. However,i've discovered a new thrill:its called going under-disappearing-vanishing...sweet escape!
All u have to do is to lose yourself in time and space preferably in unfamiliar territory with strange characters! For a split second you will experience a rush that's a combination of all your fave thrills and poisons...
The catch is: sweet escape is a timed vault...once the door shuts, you get trapped inside-trapped in "wander" land-the good news is in wander land all the beings have gone insane-we unanimously agreed that it was time to pretend-time to rearrange life as we know it-time to lie and tell the truth in the same breath-time to let your souls connect-time to unleash your potential,fears and skeletons...in wander land you realize that its time to be you...

knowing you at a gifted level...

2009-06-29T16:49:00.002+03:00

as sappho would say...
'this one is a peer of the gods'
i was getting to know her the other night
and i must admit that it was a mind blasting experience
i mean, the things she did to me were just insane!
i could feel her at the top of my head all the way to-
to the tips of my fingers and toes....
finally i understood how the whispering eye becomes a rose
she is so much stronger than she looks!
all the flipping and turning over
was totally screwing with my brain
i swear it like my nerves and senses were multiplying by the second
her warm moist breath on my toes caused explosions everywhere
her teeth on my back paralyzed my joints
her tongue...insanity, insanity, insanity it caused.
it felt so good...
i feared i might not make it out of that land alive!
i'm writing this to you
yes you,you know yourself!
ms.amazing voice-superhuman tongue-lovely teeth-magical fingers...
ms.i'm bringing toys, a leather belt n cuffs with scented candles n whipped cream...
ms.cleavage drives me nuts but i think i love ass!!!
hehehe
you are a beautiful, beautiful creature of the universe
you are special to me...very, very special
kisses and hugs to you my dear...
or should i say bites and scratches....

absolute and total madness

2009-06-06T14:05:00.001+03:00

Talk about an insane weekend; I guess that’s why we say that you never know your potential till you’re put in a favorable environment, for instance; you never know you can steal till your put near unguarded money when you are totally broke-you never know you can kill till you’re in a situation where your life is in danger or the life of a loved one…
This weekend was a very special one; it was a long weekend, it was my birthday and I finally got to take my sweet escape…it didn’t start quite the way I expected it to- I expected many things at first, for instance, I thought I would go on a coffee date with Mr.c, I thought I would get paid on time, I thought I would go to nakuru for ten aside, I thought I would buy another phone on time, I thought I would go to some particular wild party with my girlfriend … I thought many things, but I realized that the last and final decision is the one that matters most, sort of like the point of purchase when a customer decides to buy your product. Any way my last decision was coffee with mr.c who I’ve known since child hood and hadn’t seen in years. So my girlfriend has attend some modeling frat event and mr. c comes over to pick me up (in his brand new wine red Subaru I must add because he keeps saying so to anyone who cares to listen-apparently the car is his first and only love) anyway by the time we hit the town its around 10.30pm which is too late for a coffee date, so it became a wine date and we ended up talking till 5.00am at gas station. I should mention that we spent the whole weekend living like birds of the air-driving to the middle of nowhere-living from hand to mouth but with a full tank of fuel (phewwwww). I must admit that going to the middle of nowhere was the greatest feeling that I have had in quite a while…it actually addictive- one must really be careful about it lest you end up becoming a chronic escapist…
By June 1st (my birthday-thank god it was a public holiday) I had learned a whole lot of things like: things aren’t always what they seem- how to survive without a coin in your pocket- my childhood friend is an atheist on a mission to convert everybody else (too bad that I am very spiritual) and many more things. So after going under without a trace, I can tell you my friends weren’t amused, I came back and picked up where we had left off- which was to go totally wild with my friends: mr. b, mr.c, the shy one, the cuz. So we all hook up at some club in the city and start the binge. the shy one had to go to work the next day- it was in fact her first day of work, so did the cuz (but the cuz has a great alcohol threshold-so no worries there), I’m not sure about mr.b because him and I tend to go to work when we want (a very bad habit) anyway, it did start like an innocent weekend but then things got criminal real fast; I mean ‘taking’ forks off a fast food, bottles off a bar….and taking a stuff that adjusts your nerves and perception faster than black tea….oooohhhh… mr.b and i stole a car-kidnapped a person (mr.c is the ‘kidnapee’ sort of-by his own liking I should add)…many crimes… I should mention the night at the casino…that was really great… being at Babylon was really great…oh and the chivas regal….oh, so nice…
Watch out for the madness ahead…it might be contagious…
Now it’s a week later and im still trying to solve the ‘madness is relative” equation with mr. animator over a jug of whiskey tea (that is the real sh*t…that stuff is too tight…) and apparently we agreed that everybody is insane; whether your saved-genius-cerebral malaria-on weed- blonde….we all insane at different levels…Apparently what he did today was so irrational…but is it not what he would do apparently so irrational. so that we really are not in control of what we are really doing????this nigga thinks my past governs me’’ the things I say subconsciously say a lot me apparently one says a lot of things unconsciously… so he thinks I’m still I’m still in my past…so he thinks he’s gonna tell me about what i am from what I write word from word…because the word is math’s???? wtf!!!! We are now talking about the ventruvian man… with a dude who can’t spell that word….he wishes he can spell it…now we at the free free masons….and the ratio of 1;2;3 of building ….and now trying to study the entities of the universe---earth, water, wind and fire….now the discus is with the pyramid of Giza…being a launch pad…wtf…..so twisted….now It’s with the Aztec-arctic-Antarctica…… I’m I in trouble already….coz there is tangents- observatories…. Apparently he wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for numbers and the action reaction theory in physics (Newton’s law)…Einstein used 6% of his brain…and Galileo got killed for saying that the world was round???? That is the way it is… my thoughts are everywhere… many thoughts getting mixed up into a cocktail…..many thoughts in one….the way it should be….
You must lose to gain….
….its illogical…but it happens…..you must be willing to lose…….to gain….more………..this is where the spirit joins the body….for a moment…..when we are not our self…when we are not our self (this is not a mistake- the repetition…)…we lose to gain…we lose to gain….we’re in a battle to be won…we’re fighting a war to be won….(this is illogical to the naked eye….just believe….forget your body-----just believe…..be yourself…..the mastered seed….apparently….)
The irony about this story is…..it just is….don’t try to figure it out because even I don’t…..
Neither do I, said mr. animator…( I should add that mr. animator asked me not to change a thing in this dialogue…)

The reason why I didn’t delete this part is mainly because when we are intoxicated we tend to think that we’re genius-we think at a ‘gifted’ level-we think many things that are mostly unrelated… we think we know it all- the truth is, we make some really crazy-even dumb decisions while we are intoxicated…please don’t get carried a way in your high and end up doing things that you will really regret… get high responsibly: preferably in your own house, don’t drive, don’t get into fights, try not to piss way your cash, try taking hard stuff with black tea-its really great and sort of healthy…be responsible…don’t overdo it…..now the hardest part is to put this in action….so hard….

Love’s on leave

2009-05-29T14:01:00.003+03:00

Outrageous and Outlandish!!!: vodka; connecting people...

2009-05-26T14:57:00.000+03:00

Outrageous and Outlandish!!!: vodka; connecting people...

vodka; connecting people...

2009-05-26T13:52:00.003+03:00

last night was insane...it was totally random and unexpected...seriously!!!! i met up with a friend, Mr. b, who needed to have a good time so as to forget about life's little miseries...i think i also really needed to forget...so we had a few drinks (i should mention that we didn't bother to eat-a very unwise decision),the few drinks led to an endless consumption of alcohol all night and boy did i learn a lot...lots of lessons learned last night; in fact as i write this I'm agonized by a terrible hangover...

so Mr.b and i started drinking at 3pm on a Monday and it didn't occur to us to have lunch first!! as the sky grew darker ms.lox came over and unleashed a very amazing plan...there was no turning that plan down no no no...that's how we ended up hoping from strip club to strip club on a Monday night!!! i found myself consuming alcohol (at a tragic rate) as if there was no tomorrow and we having great fun especially now that the alcohol was creating heavenly illusions but i must admit it was irresponsible of us not to eat before the spree....very bad idea...bad, bad, bad...

all was well until i started having visions of me losing everything!!! that's when the 'real fun' begun; we were all having a great time...Mr.b and ms. lox mingling with the women, me dancing like a lunatic to the point of a trance...i mean my body seemed to just move itself in ways i couldn't fathom!!! then i go to the loo and i could suddenly see my self losing everything even my self...i couldn't understand it at first but later in the night when i couldn't find my 'Jack Bauer' bag as my x calls it...things started to make sense...later the bar tender found it(she was so cool) then Mr.b calls me with the cab drivers number apparently he misplaced his phone so I ran to check on him and he looks totally wasted(i find it fit to mention that i was supposed to take care of Mr.b but by this time i had managed to lose him twice in the same night!!! thank God we kept finding each other miraculously)and he is begging me to take him home..."twende,twende woiye twende" he pleaded. i assured him that I'd go drag ms.lox out of the club then we'd go...
so ran up the stairs to get ms. lox and what happened next was so twisted: i got ms.lox and told her that we should leave, she totally complies but had to use the ladies before we left... i sat down waiting for her but when she came back I was a completely different person!!! i mean she came over so we can finally leave (as earlier planned)but i just threw her a cruel look (as she puts it)and told her that i needed to think!!! well she got totally pissed off and left... i sat back and begun the 'thinking process' which moved into a sort of trance then i conveniently blacked out on the couch at the club (loser behavior noted) when i woke up at around 6am (judging from the clouds) i was without a phone...uhhh...goodbye sony Ericsson w880i...it was great having you...sob sob... I'd also lost my fleece so you can only imagine how terribly cold my walk home was...uhhh...i made it home and slipped into bed next to ms.lox and slept.
i woke up later terrified that I'd lost Mr.b again!!!! and to break the bad news to ms.lox who was sick as a dog by this time (she has some sort of alcohol poisoning)i called her work place and told them that she awoke with a strange illness hence cant come to work-she can barely talk i said the lady at the other end was all so sympathetic...uhhh..."so sad" she said "tell her to get well soon"... we went to a near by resturant to have lunch but we just couldn't eat so we chose to have some take away....
i've learned a few lessons:1. no thinking at the club,2. pay attention to visions, 3. I'm the worst care taker ever (so sorry Mr.b,forgive me??? promise to do better next time), 4. i should never chat while I'm high as a kite (very very very bad idea). I'm now taking a well deserved break from alcohol...i wonder how many hours-days-months it will last... did i just say months??? hehehe...the lying never stops....

The trouble with reality...

2009-05-24T01:01:00.001+03:00

No no no no no!!! It can't be happening-at least not now!!! I seem to be falling into love; fast and hard, i should add... I'm guessing at the speed things are moving, I'm bound to experience a crashlanding!!! Problem is, the situation is so damn complicated... mmmmh... But there's a lesson I'm learning from my situation and I think the lesson is: life is a b*tch-A crazy hormonal b*tch!!! Seriously, have you noticed how hard it is to get what you want? How people like to beat about the bush? How we're lying and pretending? So annoying!!!
It would be so cool if we could just be a little honest-straight forward...if the society could just stop being so cruel-judgemental-hypocritical...hell, if this were to happen, the world would be a much prettier place to live in...uuuh...imagine it...
My neighbour who is probably a Pagan would be more confident,she'd probably spark a conversation with me about the rituals she performed last night or early in the morning and I'd be so fascinated. The guy down stairs would probably tell me how glad he is that the government may legalize ganja! 'no more underground deals' he'd say, 'I will probably be a registered dealer now!'... We'd probably roll up one in celebration... Maybe my workmate,would be eager to see me on Monday morning- he'd be all hanged over but happy and excited because he cant wait to share his wild weekend with me, he'd tell me crazy-unbelievable-out of this world tales and I'd probably keep saying things like 'what','no way','for real','get outta here' because i simply cant belive that people have such wild parties!!! He'd probably invite me to one and i'd be excited beyond words...me? At a wild party? OMG, I cant wait!!! Maybe even I would have the balls to share my outrageously and outlandishly twisted thoughts with random people without the fear that they'll take me to the loony bin!!!
Maybe just maybe one day all these wondering-hoping-imagining will be replaced by reality... What a colourful reality that would be-then life would cease to be a crazy hormonal b*tch most of the time... She'd just be a b*tch sometimes... Aren't we all??
But for now, its back to the status quo-back to the 'deep-dark' secrets in our lives-back to making small talk involving mundane topics such as the weather,traffic etc-back to my misery... The misery of being inlove with a complicated situation...

To love or not to love,that is the question...

2009-05-20T19:36:00.002+03:00

Love,according to the oxford advanced learners dictionary; is
1. A strong feeling of deep affection for somebody/something,especially a member of your family or a friend.
2. A strong feeling of affection for somebody that you are sexually attracted to.
(definations 3,4,5&6 wont matter in this piece hence the exemption)
My phone dictionary defines it as deep affection or fondness.
'...if i speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, i am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If i have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if i have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, i am nothing. If i give all i possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, i gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love...'(excerpt from1corinthians13)
I don't know what the muslims, buddhist, hindus, atheists, pagans and others have to say about love...
The other day as i was reading a really moving book-
'...love fills everything. It cannot be desired because it is an end in itself. It cannot betray because it has nothing to do with possession. It cannot be held prisoner because it is a river and will overflow its banks. Anyone who tries to imprison love will cut off the spring that feeds it, and the trapped water will grow stagnant and rank.' (p196)
'...no passion is in vain, no love is ever wasted. If the Mother awoke that love in your heart, she awoke it in mine too, although your heart perhaps accepts it more readily. The energy of love can never be lost--it is more powerful than anything and shows itself in many ways...' (p256)
'...that was the only time i dared to ask her: ''why do you love me?''
She replied: '' i don't know and i don't care.''...love simply is.'(p268)
The above excerpts are from The Witch Of Portobello by Paulo Coelho.
The reason why i quoted so may writers is that i'm not well versed on the topic of love. Not until recently was i finally set free from the 'i dont believe in love' prison...funny story really,the shortened version being; i fell inlove with ms.X and it was the best feeling ever-i let myself get carried away which was an awesome feeling too-some drama ensued(the events that took place after this happened at the speed of light and still cause me the shivers when i think about it)-one moment i was in love heaven;all so happy and unsuspecting, the next i was getting my heart hacked up!!! All in all, she crushed my heart and i was shocked-depressed-angry-vengeful-in great pain,all these feelings at the same time... After i had mourned enough,i was overjoyed!!! I mean seriously ms.X had set me free-she unknowingly helped me conquer my greatest fear;getting my heart brocken-betrayed by the one i love...since it happened i find that i'm a much happier person... Besides,the end of one event...is the beginning of another...
We must not let ourselves get dragged down by the load of misery and negativity...look around you; love is all around...all you have to do is open the eyes of your soul...don't be afraid...

The ultimate act of love???

2009-05-19T15:42:00.001+03:00

Funny how many twisted things go through my mind when i'm idle...im taking a short bed rest because im highly contagious thanks to a flu that's even causing my teeth to itch and ache!!
So i'm lying in bed feeling drowsy,tuned to xfm and reading 'the world's most infamous murders'...and i'm here thinking that we're are just a twisted bunch!!! Maybe this has something to do with the funeral i attended yesterday but seriously i'm truely convinced that we are all twisted!!!
To start with,we're all in agreement that we're all gonna die-kick the bucket-pass on to the next life someday...the main questions are: how and when its gonna happen? Personally,i hope that by the time it happens i'll have travelled the world extensively and accomplished a few goals here and there-i also hope that it'll be quick and painless (i hate unnecessary pain)...preferably not too messy-i guess,i wouldn't appreciate my earthly body being swept onto a dust pan!!! I think that 'how' is in fact the bigger question; you see, it could be natural-unnutural-innocent-brutal-suicide-homicide-messy-neat-wellplanned etc. A few of us are prepared but most us just get immensely surprised by death!! I mean your there minding your own business-feeling glad to be alive and then BAM!! a car runs you over,you get hit by a stray bullet,you run into a serial killer etc...its really annoying!!! But onething's certain-we all gonna die...so its a waste of precious energy worrying about the details of your death, unless of course your planning a suicide!!
On the other hand some killers do sit and plan how they're going to end your life...i have reason to believe that the above is the worst kind of killer: first,they're extremely coldblooded-unmoved-they'll smoke you then proceed to their fav resturant to have their fav meal!! The other kind of killer could very well be you or me...the kind that kills simply because they snapped-self defence-a crime of passion-momentary insanity...these are seemingly normal people who just lose it and totally surprise you!!
I'm hoping that by now you're totally convinced that no matter what you're still going to kick the bucket so you must not worry yourself over this matter...what you need to focus all your worry or anger to is: why wont people (kenyans in particular) donate their organs!!! I mean,seriously-you're dead!! You will no longer need your corneas,heart,kidneys,lungs etc. They'll definately be burned to ashes during cremation,get eaten by termites and other insects,rot and decay...wouldn't you feel much better that your organs helped somebody else live a more fruitful life-possibly even bettered the world...is not giving your body(or atleast parts of it) the ultimate act of love-charity-kindness??? You tell me...

The menace must be murdered!!!

2009-05-18T21:56:00.000+03:00

It's come to my attention that there's a new breed of men on the rise.yes,they are quickly evolving and taking over the show from your average-'normal'-typical male.You see,this new breed of men is fuelled by negative energy and as expected they go puking all the negative energy that they've amassed to poor unsuspecting victims like you and me!!! The new breed of men was formally labelled as the 'douche bag' now they've gone a notch higher to hurlling endless insults-nagging-rumour mongering etc,hence he is now called 'the male b*tch'
The big problem is that they're getting stronger by day;the male b*tch thrives in stressful-tense-negative conditions.Unfortunately,we're living in tough times filled with economic crisis-food shortages-global warming-traffic is usually a nightmare-annoying politicians-weird diseases(swine flu,bird flu...WTF!!)etc. Faced with all these issues,we're all operating on high stress levels and thus explode at the slightest tick off.
The good news is that most of us know how to release the tension through: meditation-yoga-work outs-chatting with friends-napping-one4the road-hobbies etc. But the male b*tch doesn't want this,he wants you to be so unbalanced that he quickly cripples you with negativity!!!
The better news is,they dont move directly into physical confrontation,they first scream and hurl insults at you hoping to provoke you into a fight. All you have to do is block your ears-dont listen-shut them out...better still walk away smiling or whistling-this move causes the male b*tch to automatically self distruct!!!
I think the best solution is to help them use up their repressed anger by getting them a hobby like boxing-lone screaming-hunting...etc
All im saying is that the male b*tch must be stopped at all costs-they're a hazard to themselves and those around them!!!